4.23.2014

Sometimes It Doesn't Take A Village- An Open Letter

Dear Critical Lady,

The other night, we decided to spend some time as a family and get out of the house for dinner.  Given my daughter's passion for noodles, we ended up going somewhere that serves noodle dishes....which is probably the same reason you were there. 

Who doesn't love noodles?  

As I gave my three year old Sweet Pea two choices of noodles, you somehow felt it necessary to say "Or something healthy".  At first, you probably saw a look of surprise on my face as I was trying to figure out why the Diet Police was not in costume (eating there herself, mind you).  That quickly spread to a look of anger as I tried to conjure some fists to come springing out of my eyes and punch you in your throat or to Jedi mind trick you into punching yourself in the face and saving me some energy. 

However, sadly, neither worked.

So you followed up with "Just putting it out there".

In my quest to teach my children to be decent human beings (something your parents obviously skipped with you), I chose to NOT knock you off your seat.  I chose to let you go on eating your WHITE pasta with pesto and I decided you are a judgmental douchecanoe (seriously...how close did I get to actually describing you perfectly!?!).

I let you ruin my family time.  I even let you make me cry when we left.  That's a flaw in my character.   Here's what you need to know about yours:

Sometimes, It does NOT take a village.  Or if it does take a village, I equate that village to the team I would pick while playing Red Rover as a child. I would pick the strongest people who will hold my hand the tightest and form a united line against the "other side". 

You are the "other side". 

You see nowhere in my daily decisions of what is best for MY children, do I consider you important, or even consider you at all.  You decided to inject yourself into my parenting, like a poison.  Your words, dripping with judgment, were neither helpful or warranted. 

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. 

I don't feel the need to explain to you exactly how balanced I make sure my children's meals are.  That's MY business.  What I feed MY children is MY business. The decisions I make for MY children are MY decisions to make because they are MY children. See the pattern here?  Nowhere in that is YOU. 

I don't pretend to be perfect.  Fake it til you make it, right?.  Sometimes, I go to bed patting myself on the back because "I GOT THIS"...other days, I am less than kind to myself.  I go through those motions, without your judgement.  Being a mom is hard enough.... but that is where MY village comes in.  My children are surrounded by so much love with family and friends that you really shouldn't ever feel the need to HAVE to say something to me. 

No really, you shouldn't. 

If I fail, and I am going to MANY MANY times, there is such a net of support.

SUPPORT: noun To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen. 

Don't you worry your gray little hairs about us. 

AND DO NOT for one second assume that because I am not a single digit size, I feed my children like crap.  I struggle with food.  It's evident when you look at me.  People who have issues with food wear their problems for everyone to see, and I guess you think because you see it, you can judge me and my parenting. 

Before you judge me, make sure you are perfect.  

Now excuse me, while I go prepare my child's lunch of potato chips, chocolate cake, fried oreos or whatever else it is that you assumed I feed her regularly. 

Sincerely,
the mom who no longer gives a damn what you think...