Don't Ignore My Journey

Don't ignore my journey...

I hurt....
I struggled....
I cried....

I went through cycle after cycle of negatives.  Cycle after cycle of depression.  

I lost friends and gained friends and then lost those friends too.

My marriage suffered but then got stronger.

I spent countless hours waiting...for doctors...for bloodwork...for test results...for a baby..

Even at my lowest, when I didn't think I could carry on....I found strength...I found hope...I learned to fight.

And I had her....my perfect precious daughter. My life is full of sunshine.

But the journey still remains....the story is not different! It's tattooed forever on my soul. 

I proudly share the story of conceiving my daughter....the blood, the sweat and the tears.   I want the world to see how truly precious she is!

Don't assume I am "healed" or "fixed" because of the outcome......that never could really ever be true. 

I still struggle with it all...I still struggle with infertility.  I am forever a statistic.

Don't ignore my journey... it made me the mother I am today. 

*This post was written for National Infertility Awareness Week.  For more information on infertility please click here


Dont' Cry Over Spilled Milk Huh?

Someone once said "Don't cry over spilled milk".

This person never had a one year old!

At Sweet Pea's one year appointment, her doctor told us that it was time to switch to whole milk (which I expected) and that it was time to give up the bottle (UM SAY WHAT?!?).  I quickly started to panic as I thought of Sweet Pea's fight to take the sippy cup.  She FINALLY just had started taking it and she would only take water in it.  Not formula....not juice...JUST WATER! The doctor just urged us to keep trying.

So I packed up all her day time bottles and traded it in for her new sippy cups.  She adjusted much better than I thought.  At first she wasn't drinking as much as she should, which is why we decided to keep the bottle before bed (but we are hoping to phase that out within the next month).

So there's my baby....my new little toddler....walking around the room with her "unleakable" sippy cup of milk.  Only it's not ALWAYS "unleakable".  Most of the time, it leaks ....A LOT!!! We have tried four different brands and they all spill or leak (honestly WHO is doing these studies?!?).

So what does that mean? ALL OVER MILK!

Milk on the carpet.....milk on the ottoman....milk on the couch.....milk on the tables...ALL THE TIME MILK. 


at least she's drinking it right?

These milk spills aren't just from her placing her sippy cup down....no!  My diva daughter has decided when she is done taking a sip of the milk from the cup, SHE NO LONGER WANTS TO SEE IT.  So she channels her inner Mariano Rivera and pitches it. MILK SPLATS EVERYWHERE!

Apparently, milk cleaner upper is a new part of my job description.  I am forever following my daughter around with a paper towel to get the spill as soon as it happens because let's face it...sour milk is not my favorite scent. 

So I decided to also give her a sippy cup of water during the day.  This way at least some of the spilled water will clean up the spilled milk right?

Relax mom....I'm kidding

Today, as I got up from where I was sitting to clean up spill # 823712894 of the day, my darling little milk spiller climbed up onto a pile of her toys, grabbed my own FULL cup of milk (WITH ONE HAND) and in her best audition for the NY Yankees, threw it!

My mouth gaped as I watched the milk (IN SLOW MOTION) go all over everything. Her books...her unwashable dolls...the chair...the ottoman....the carpet.  I feel my legs give out (my little paper towel will not clean this up) as she bends to pick up the cup and there is my wide eyed, crazy haired daughter standing with the cup she emptied all over the living room, smiling.