Me....In Concert

For as long as I can remember, I've had this little secret. 

I LOVE to listen to music while I am taking a shower and getting ready. This shouldn't be a big surprise.  A lot of people do .....that's why they invented that nifty shower radio right?!?!  I never had one of those by the way....so before the IPOD, I had to drag my big boom box music player into the bathroom with me!

Speaking of before the IPOD....There was a couple choices for music.....the radio or the cassette tape (or later the CD).  I happened to ALWAYS shower during commercial breaks on the radio!!! I was a walking advertisement for V.I.M Jeans and Club Hunka Bunka (in Sayerville.....NY/NJ reference). So I would bring my cassette tapes in.   There was nothing like listening to side A of the cassette tape and then having to flip it over to side b.  CD's eliminated that but seriously with the exception of a very few albums...who listened to EVERY SONG?!? (Mariah Carey's Music Box, Janet Jackson's Janet, Christina Aguilera's Stripped).  I used to make mixed cd's (the evolution of a mixed tape)....which definitely worked...but GOOD LORD, god bless APPLE!!!

Anyway....where was I?!?   Oh yes....I love music while I am showering.   But that my friends isn't my secret. 

My secret is that I pretend I am performing while getting ready.   Yep there it is...I am putting it out there.  I conduct my own concerts and act out my own music videos (where I both sing AND dance) in my bathroom.

Ok fine...it's not just in the bathroom....I do it in the kitchen too...while I am cooking....

For so long, I had no audience.  I would have LOVED to do that for a living and end up on American Idol or something but I was considerate enough to save your ear drums (YOU ARE WELCOME).

So yesterday, my hubby was working later than normal and I had to get dinner going.  I decided to put Sweet Pea in her high chair with some toys and get to work.  She was all settled in having a blast....so I put on Pandora and started breading those chicken cutlets.

Two songs in and one of my FAVES to "perform" to came on.

Madonna "Material Girl"  and somewhere among the bread crumbs and the frying pan....I "forgot" I had company.  I turned to see my precious little daughter smiling at her mama and  giggling.

There it was.....my first audience.  And just like when I am dancing in my bathroom, pretending to be "in concert", my audience was captivated and mesmerized.

Midway through the song, Sweet Pea started shrieking.  I like to think she was trying to sing along, instead of begging me to be quiet.

One day this will be embarrassing to her.....One day she might roll her eyes at my performances....but right now, she loves it....

Seeing that smile and hearing that laugh is priceless.

Better go practice some new material. 


It's That Time Of Year Again

I am SO sorry that I have totally sucked at posting on here lately.

I have been in the trenches of wife hell!

My dear Sweet Pea is teething something fierce and she is NOT a quiet teether....

AND my strong herculean husband has hurt his back at work....

The full body exhaustion that I have been feeling is CRAY-CRAY (YES I went there! I just need to point out how much I HATE when people say that...so I thought I would annoy you with it also).

Anyway....what is new? 

Oh yes, the process of moving Sweet Pea to her crib has officially been halted after she face-planted right into one of the bars like FIVE minutes after I placed her in there.  She was screaming and I just decided that for RIGHT NOW she is totally better being the Buddy The Elf of her co-sleeper. 

(I'll try again soon.....k?)

Also we are getting into THAT time of the year.

My FAVORITE time of the year.

FALL (especially Halloween to Christmas)

I use to spend the time leading up to the holidays reminding myself that it was probably going to be the LAST time I would have to spend THAT holiday without a baby.  

I did that for four years.

Now the fact that Sweet Pea will be experiencing all this FUN stuff with me is AMAZEBALLS (yes...I went there again....).

We plan on starting the FUN TIME of year festivities by going Apple Picking this weekend.  Let's just talk about HOW excited I am about this.   Sweet Pea is grabbing EVERYTHING now and I can not wait to see her grabbing for some apples (that I totally plan on using to make some yummy apple recipes...another thing I LOVE!!).

I am just so insanely in love with my daughter and can not wait to see this time of year through her eyes!!!



A Simple Twist of Fate

I often think back to when I joined Twitter and I laugh. 

It is INSANE how much that social media site has changed my life. 

I had always been a huge believer in "Everything happens for a reason"...and I often think of the series of events that led me to this point. 

My husband got offered a job back East so we moved.  I reconnected with an old high school friend who pretty much introduced me to and got me hooked on Twitter.   I started to connect with lots of people like me who were struggling with fertility issues too.  This gave me an outlet.  This allowed me to reach out to people who understood.   This made me send a tweet to a guy who was from New Jersey who had fertility issues too. 

That tweet changed my life. 

Kenny and I tweeted back and forth about our RE's and our procedures.  We were going the IUI route while he and his wife were doing IVF.  I thank the lucky stars the day he got Jessica to join Twitter. 

My husband and I were struggling to come to terms with the fact that our RE recommended injections and we didn't have insurance for them and we couldn't afford the absurd amount of money they cost.  So we floated from month to month trying to figure it out....feeling frustrated and stuck. 

We never asked for their help and yet they offered it.  To me, that is a sign of an amazing person.  They offered us, two strangers, their unused medications.  The medications we couldn't afford....the medications that were thousands of dollars. 

The gesture was mind-blowing. 

The medicine worked the first time. 

To say we will NEVER be able to repay them is an understatement.  The stars aligned for Sweet Pea because of that tweet....because of Jessica and Kenny.

The true beauty of this all (besides both of our gorgeous daughters) is the friendship I have developed with Jessica.

I think our souls just clicked. 

I stepped out of my comfort zone and attended her baby shower where I knew NO ONE because I simply couldn't imagine not being there.  And in her true fashion, she made sure I wasn't uncomfortable..that I had someone to sit with and talk to.  I enjoyed every moment of that shower. 

And her sweet little baby girl....that I have been following since she was merely just cells in her momma's tummy.  I have loved watching her grow and seeing her play with my daughter. 

I can't wait for the future memories with our girls.

Jessica has become an amazing confidant, a huge supporter, and a best friend.  

Jessica and Kenny have changed our lives.

They have become a part of our family. 

So to my dearest friend....on her birthday (which isn't until technically the morning)....I know that you will truly have all the best in life because you deserve nothing less.  An amazingly beautiful person on the inside and out that has helped me out of my darkness, helped me fulfill a life long dream, and help me to be able to smile again...to truly laugh again....to finally be whole!

I love you girlie!!! Have a very happy birthday!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

P.S. Shoot over to twitter and tell @azoosbeyotch HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

P.P.S You should totally follow her and Kenny @infertilitynme...THEY REALLY ROCK!!!!


Teething....OH DEAR LORD!

As if Sweet Pea having to get older and bigger wasn't hard enough on me....now it seems she is having to go and get  teeth...

However this teething thing isn't just hard on my emotional mama soul.....nope these bastards we lovingly refer to as teeth are wreaking HAVOC on my poor little sweet girl.  

I'll admit I was totally in teething denial (as I am with most of the getting older stuff with my daughter).  It wasn't until the first experience with the blood curdling screaming that I finally gave in and admitted it.  Apparently, my daughter and her screams are in business to wake the dead.......*there's another gray hair*

For the past three or four nights, my sweet baby SCREAMS AND SCREAMS and just when you think it's over....she SCREAMS some more. 

The first night I am all super mom.....I'm thinking "Ok I got this...I have been prepared for this" With lightning fast speed I run up the stairs...grab the orajel I ALREADY bought (WITH A COUPON!!!)...run back downstairs and put the orajel on my baby's gums.  Intense crying for a minute followed by a smiling cooing baby with tears drying on her cheeks!  

I conquered that shit! 

The next night, the screaming was louder.  Took longer to calm her down....but we did!!!  My hair might have looked like a hurricane blew through and my eyeliner might have been down to my chin....but I did it!

Tonight.....Oh! My! God! Tonight...... tonight was the worst screaming EVER!  My supermom cape was ripped to shreds by these bastards, the teeth! Tonight, as my daughter screamed the worst sound I have ever heard, I joined her in crying. Standing in the living room, I clung onto her and we both sobbed.  In crept that bitch, also known as Mother's Guilt because I couldn't fix it.   The orajel wasn't working.....the tylenol didn't work that fast and I was helpless.  We were both completely helpless.   WORST FEELING EVER!!

I assume by tomorrow my husband will try with his Superdad cape on as I sit in the corner in fetal position rocking and screaming  "Make it stop!!! Make it stop!!!"

I believe when they said that you should use whiskey when teething...that they meant that was for the parents....

I'd like you to meet my new best friends....Jack and Jim....

Actually...I'm pretty sure the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill was written for Jack and Jim....

Jack and Jim said on a whim "Drink us like it's water"
while the teeth are underneath the gums of your miserable daughter!


I am hereby declaring WAR on these bastards, the teeth and their punk ass leader, Front Left Bottom Tooth!

I will not let these tiny little jackasses win!   Once we get the leader out, I'll be ready to take the whole gang down!

I fear this will be a lengthy battle.....*Can I get a hair dye sponsor or something?!?!???*

We will be victorious in the end!   My daughter will have those pearly whites to add to her already beautiful smile and I guess all of this will seem like a thing of the past....

That is until they start falling out....

......and I smash every single one of those bastards with a mallet!