5.30.2011

Sweet Pea: The Birth Edition Part 2

Ok so I left off that the surgery was about to start..... 

My adorable husband was brought in.....

....dressed in his Ghostbuster type garb. 

There was a young Dr assisting in the surgery.  I listened to my OB instruct him as he went.  Very student/ teacher like.  I just didn't even care.  To be honest, I was as calm as a Hindu cow! I am assuming I was cut a little as I was asked "Did you feel that?"  My response "Nope..not a thing".  My OB then said "Ok..here we go". 

How would I describe my c-section?  Like a bumpy car ride. The table was shaking and to me it felt like a ride on a bumpy road.  I had this HUGE light shining in my face and music was playing.  I often thought about what was going on behind the curtain but it didn't phase me.  I told you...MY DR. LONG ASS NEEDLE DID AN AMAZING JOB!

The anticipation of her was unreal.  I felt butterflies...although I am sure it was a scalpel or something.  I closed my eyes for one brief moment when they told me they were going to be pressing down to get her out.  The four years of dealing with infertility flashed through my brain.....and then I heard this cry.  This sweet angel like cry and I looked up and THERE SHE WAS!  The light shining above her gave her almost a glow as I took in all I could in those brief moments.  Her massive amount of hair was curly. She looked just like my husband.  Tears were streaming.  I instantly felt my infertile broken heart mend.  It stitched up with each breathe I took.  I prayed and I prayed and there she was, coughing out her amniotic fluid all over my face.  I wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Sweet Pea born 5:23 pm on 3/24/11.

For those brief few seconds time stood still....

....And then everything went fast. 

I remember saying to my husband that she looked just like him.  He was soon whisked away to watch her get cleaned up and weighed as I closed my eyes again to listen to her cry.  She was brought over to me...I stroked her face....I'm not sure all the things I needed to say in that moment came out but god knows I felt them.  "You are PERFECT".  "We waited so long for you".  "I love you more than anything or anyone I have ever known".  "You finally healed my heart"  "You made me exactly who I wanted to me...your mom".  She was brought to the nursery and I made my husband go with her and videotape as much as he could.  I knew my family would be seeing her for the first time through a window and I smiled....for as much as my husband and I wanted her...they wanted her too.  As long as we waited, they waited too.  They shared in our heartache and tears and deserved to share in our happiness. 

I'll never forget the song that was playing when I got to finally take a deep breathe and realize my surroundings. 

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz
Ballroom blitz


 So random...but instantly a new favorite song!

I laid there on the table....listening to the music with the big light shining in my eye and I pretended I was on a beach with the sun shining.  I was just laying there tanning...and I actually think I fell asleep because the next thing I knew I was being wheeled into recovery and my husband was there to show me all the little videos he took of our Sweet Pea. 

I was still feeling great but couldn't stop shaking so they had to keep giving me meds. After about 75 minutes I was finally being wheeled into the mother/child hospital rooms.  I wanted Sweet Pea.  I needed to hold her.  I remember being pushed down the hall...visiting hours were just about over but as we turned the corner I saw my family...adoring my daughter and I felt so happy.  They started to scream and yell and "woohoo" as soon as they saw us (We are very loud East Coasters).  Everyone was telling me how beautiful she was and I was rolled to the window to see her.

We were brought down to the room and I immediately started asking for her.  Each time someone came in...I didn't care who it was ..I wanted her!  After a long wait (they were seriously overcrowded), she was brought to me and placed in my arms.

NOTHING HAS EVER FELT MORE RIGHT...IN...MY...LIFE!!!!

We were finally left alone!  Me, my husband and OUR daughter.

My life was finally complete.....

 (Part three to come tomorrow ..on our hospital stay)

5.27.2011

Sweet Pea: The Birth Edition Part 1

To say I was nervous is an understatement...

Yes I had a complete panic attack at 4 in the morning.

I had to keep telling myself that Sweet Pea couldn't stay in my tummy.  Although it sounded good to me, it wasn't logical.  I could barely carry her at the "10 lbs 6 oz" she was estimated to be.....could you imagine how big she would be graduating college.  No, I had to do this.  There were two ways out.  This one was the most logical given the circumstances. 

My C-section was scheduled for 2:30 on 3/24/11.

We had to be at the hospital by noon.  We packed up our stuff...you know the bag, pillows, all of our family, and headed to the hospital.

You might be a little puzzled as to why we brought all of our family. 

I like to refer to it as "My Big Fat Italian Labor" to have my big fat Italian baby!  Coming to theaters soon!

Anyway....my hubby and I headed into labor and delivery and our families headed into the waiting room (oh to have been a fly on the wall in there).

We were taken back to the prep and recovery section for the c-section.  I was given a gown and a whole bunch of paperwork. I was hooked up to fluids and monitors. I kept telling the nurse how nervous I was.  Nurse one was amazing!! She was keeping me calm, answering my questions.

Then .....she was needed to assist a C-section of twins.......She was replaced with this:

Magda from There's Something About Mary

I instantly missed the other nurse. 

It wouldn't be that bad.  It was already 12:30...I only had two hours til surgery.

Nurse Magda then informed me they were running behind....The twins mom needed to go first so I got bumped back an hour or so.....

Ok...an hour...not bad...not bad...

That hour came and went and then Nurse Magda came back "We had an emergency.  We had to move you back again.  I am NOT going to be the one to call your doctor and tell him you got pushed back again".

Pushed back....AGAIN?!?!  This wouldn't have been THAT bad.....

....if the contractions didn't start.

And these weren't nice little contractions...these were BACK contractions....and they were about five minutes apart....

To say that hour was agony is an understatement....a HUGE one! 

I mean seriously...I thought the whole "plus" to having a c-section was NO LABOR.  Figures Sweet Pea would give me some...just figures. 

Finally they wheel out the "emergency"....I was on deck. Dr was called.  Nurse Magda said they were going to rush me in before another "emergency" came!! 

The anesthesiologist (phew that's a long word..he will be Dr. Long Ass Needle instead) came in and I burdened him down with all my fears. He explained the procedure...I continued to crap my pants (no not literally) and he left.  My OB came next.  I have never been so happy.  He has such a calming quality to him...he was exactly what I needed. 

I keep hearing the "I made you wait" emergency lady making noises from pain.  I'll be honest ...didn't help!  I hear her asking for more stronger drugs and I am ready to JUST. DIE! 

It was finally my turn.  I was wheeled into the room and I was instantly freezing.  Um folks..I'm about to be naked up in here...thanks for the frostbite.  I spent all day panicking about the epidural. Like serious serious fear.  The funny part was my back labor was so bad...I WANTED THE EPIDURAL.  Yes you read that right.  I wanted the HUGE needle stuck into my back. 

Dr. Long Ass Needle was awesome.  Talked me through every step!  It really only felt like a bee sting....and then instant happiness...the back labor was gone.  I was ready to meet my daughter!

The happiness was short lived because I started to throw up....that sweet Dr. Long Ass Needle sat by my head and held the little kidney shaped bowl as I threw up stuff I ate for dinner last Christmas. 

Another nurse came into the room and started to talk about the "I made you wait and have miserable back pain" emergency lady. She wanted MORE drugs.  He then had to get up and leave my side.  He tried to prop the kidney bowl up but it slipped and I wasn't done...and there it went...all down the side of my face....into my hair and ear...LOVELY.

Listen you stupid wench....I waited for this...this was MY TIME...All I kept thinking about was Joan Cusack from Nine Months

"This is MY MOMENT.  THIS IS MY MIRACLE".

Dr. Long Ass Needle came back....curtain was up....dr's in place.....it's showtime!

(Part two tomorrow)

5.09.2011

Sweet Pea's First Outing

Yesterday was my very first Mother's Day!  I had an amazing day with my new little family.  We decided to take Sweet Pea on her first outing and bring her to a place that mommy holds dear to her heart....a mall!

We loaded up a bajillion things.  I think I had like three extra outfits just in case.  The "in case" being a diaper blowout, or puke, or a diaper blowout AND puke.  I had three bottles packed, because you never know, we could have a flat tire and be stuck somewhere for hours and then what.  Along with the 15 diapers, two packages of wipes, 3 burp cloths and bibs...my diaper bag weighed like 50 lbs.....seriously...I would have gotten charged extra by the airline. 

We got to the mall.  My excitement was at an all time high.  Not since before my pregnancy have I truly enjoyed shopping.  This time I was shopping for her...my daughter...and I knew exactly what would look cute on her and exactly what sizes I needed to buy.  We loaded up the stroller and I grabbed my cement filled diaper bag and realized there was NO PLACE for it.  It didn't fit ANYWHERE on the carriage because of its size so I ended up grabbing a few essentials and leaving it in the car (I figured if she needed clothes, this would be a GREAT excuse to buy new ones). 

I was so excited to shop...but then I realized as I pushed my gorgeous stroller, I was more excited to be pushing the stroller through the mall.  How amazing is this?!? Shopping with my baby (who was sleeping)...perfection. 

Then I noticed something amazing.....

It started at the front doors and continued throughout most of the stores, into the mall.  People were SMILING at me.  THIS. IS. HUGE.  I'm sure I had that new mom glow that every new mom gets when she gets to the mall with her sleeping baby and her husband who HAS to shop with her because it is Mother's Day and he can't complain because all she really wanted that morning was to sleep in and it didn't happen so he bought her flowers and tried to make her happy all day.  Even with my glow, I tend to be told that when I am not smiling I look mean.  Bitch mean.  Does this bother me?  Not in the LEAST bit.  Although it does lend itself to a lot of "what's wrong?" questions.

So even with my glowing bitch face...people were smiling.  

They weren't pushing into me.....they weren't ignoring me.  Many of them even said "Happy Mother's Day" (along with gushing over how truly beautiful Sweet Pea is.....cause she really is....I mean REALLY IS!)

My faith is restored in the world.

I wonder how long until Sweet Pea starts throwing tantrums, my glow turns into sweat from the tantrum, and people start giving me NASTY looks?!?!  Mama bear bitch face activated =)

5.08.2011

Adventures in Couponing

So I am sure all of you already are fully aware that I LOVE to shop....OBSESSION! And unfortunately my true princess status hasn't been recognized yet so I have to use that ugly 6 letter word......budget *shutters*

Oh how I long for the days where I can just walk into Bloomingdale's and just purchase that $500 pair of shoes that I will only wear once.  I dream about the days where I won't have to hock a kidney for my coveted Louis Vuitton that I have been drooling over for YEARS. 


I wanna be a billionaire so friggen bad.....

Over the years, my shopping addiction and my budget haven't always seen eye to eye.  I want the finer things in life....I NEED the finer things in life.  This brings me to the most wonderful four letter word I have ever heard ......S-A-L-E! I am all about a sale....I thrive on it!  I can rip a clearance rack up like nobody's business.  Give me an extra percentage off and I might salivate.  My math skills in percentages are AMAZING!  I am all about finding a great deal.....

Enter Extreme Couponing.  I have heard MANY things about this show for weeks before I actually got to watch it.  I sat enthralled by what I was seeing.  My eyes remained glued to the tv as I watched these people do something I have only imagined....shopped for almost nothing!!! It's like the clearance of all clearances.  I said my whole pregnancy the Food Network channel was porn for preggos.....well this show...is porn for a shopper!

I'll admit, sometimes I am SHOCKED at the hoarding.  Honey if you have one bajillion bags of cat treats and you don't own a cat...it's time to either buy one or get your head checked out by a dr.

So many logical questions arose during the show. Where do they get these coupons?  How many do they end up throwing away?  What store actually LETS them do that? Who the hell needs that many cans of Spam? 

But most important...how do I DO THIS?!?!

I was on a mission....I'm a smart saavy shopper...I could do this.  Not ANYWHERE to the EXTREME that they do...but on a smaller more manageable scale.  I don't need 75 packets of taco seasoning but maybe having two or three would be nice. 

That's it...it's on!

I went and bought my newspapers last week.  I'm probably already failing because I paid for the coupons but the idea of wearing Sweet Pea in the Baby Bjorn while I dumpster dive for coupons was a little too much (and a little too gross).  I clipped my coupons, separated them and made piles!  I noticed my local supermarket was doing double coupons up to $2!!! THIS IS HUGE.  So I sat and researched, made a detailed list, grabbed my coupons and was ready to go.  I read the coupon policies before so I knew what I was up against. 

Here we go....

We went to the store today and started filling our cart up with the items.  I was walking on air...this was FABULOUS and fun!!!!  Just as we finished, I told my husband to start loading our ONE cart up onto the belt while I ran to get this weeks paper.  Half of my cart was loaded on the belt as I returned and noticed the DREADED sign!  I swear it was like the apocalypse.  20 COUPON LIMIT.  I almost threw.up.

It was our turn and I had WAY more than 20 coupons....I counted them quickly and had over 40. 

This is what went on in my head:

Ok we just have to split it into two orders.  Where is the detergent? OH SHIT HE IS SCANNING ALREADY. QUICK! THINK FAST! OMG! 

Enter MAJOR hyperventilation mode!  My brain couldn't process the separation.  I tried to work it out with my husband but each item he scanned, the beep felt louder and louder.  All I kept thinking was how I was FAILING at shopping.  This is MY sport....I'm Olympic gold at this and I am FAILING. 

The cashier....AWESOME.  He talked me through it...seriously...sweet young kid!  He wanted me to use the coupons!  He mentioned the show...he wanted to see how low I could get it!

Game back on......

I made some mistakes.  I didn't fully understand the process but hey Rome wasn't built in a day and I'm learning.  We got our $250 dollar order down to $90!  That's nothing to shake a stick at!  I didn't go crazy....we won't be eating Tuna until 2031.  I got enough for us....for my family to be comfortable.  I vowed in my head before I started this that multiple times a year I will clean out and donate what we don't use and I will NEVER take what won't be used (hear that crazy non-cat owner lady?!?!?).

The cashier...bless his heart....said I should be on that show.  I felt the inevitable nervous breakdown ensuing.  I couldn't handle ONE cart...I could never do 3 or 4 carts full. If necessary, I will have to make smaller trips.  Shopping is exercise anyway right?!?! 

Now if I could just figure out where to get more coupons......

5.07.2011

My First Mother's Day ....HALLE-FRIGGEN-LLUJAH!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  The past few years I have tried to avoid Mother's Day like the Plague.  Yet no matter how I tried to stop it...it kept coming!  Everywhere I looked was "I love mom" stuff and I'm not heartless, I DO LOVE my mom....but knowing how much I wanted to be a mom myself, this holiday was hard to take. 

Every year while everyone else celebrated Mother's Day....I celebrated "Un-Mother's Day".  Just like every day that isn't your birthday is your "Un-Birthday"....well that day was always my "Un-Mother's Day" 

I have two posts here about it  (here and here)

And then my miracle happened......



Tomorrow, thanks to my beautiful daughter, I will get to celebrate my FIRST Mother's Day.  Is it wrong of me to think that I deserve a parade of some sort?!?! Ya know, each Dr and Nurse could have a float and I could be like Santa at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, adorned with jewels and a tiara, being pulled by white horses in a carriage......sounds fitting no?  NO?!?! Fine, I'll settle for a skywriter wishing me a Happy Mother's Day! 

As I picked my daughter up this morning and smothered her with kisses, I thanked God for giving me this.  Her sweet smile made my heart melt and I instantly knew in that moment why my mother made every decision she made for me.  I understood every time she said No for my own good.  I pictured all the grief I must have caused my mom as a teen and an image of my future with my daughter flashed through my mind. I looked at her and smothered her with more kisses, realizing that I don't want there to ever be a day where I can't do that.  I wondered how my mom has restrained herself....how even at the age of thirty, she doesn't smother me with kisses. 

This type of love is amazing.

I just started my life as a mom and I realized how instantly my life changed the second she was born.  Things that were so important before became trivial and things I have never cared about became super important! They say motherhood is an instinct women have.....something they will just know how to do....and while that may be true...I know deep down in my heart...I had the BEST teacher and hope that one day my daughter will be sitting and looking back on her childhood with as much admiration and love as I do mine!