My Dearest Sweet Pea

This has been a long journey.  

For the past four years, all I have known out of life was how much I wanted you....how my life felt empty without you.....how I knew I was destined to be your mom! Daddy and I lived our days enjoying our life together but yearning for you to be a part of it. We worked together with many doctors, had many early mornings, we did everything we could.  All the heartache that we felt now makes sense....for if ANY other cycle worked...we wouldn't have you sweet baby girl.

 My heart can not wait to know what life is like with you in it!

The past 39 weeks with you in my belly have been amazing.  These past few weeks will be something I never forget.  I will always cherish laying in bed in the middle of the night, rubbing my stomach with daddy sleeping next to me.  This was our time.  I would rub where I knew your butt was and you would put your little butt up in the air.  I loved every minute of it!
I have dreamed of laying my eyes on you for the very first time.  I have dreamed of holding you in my arms and seeing daddy do the same. I know the moment I see you, the world will be different.  The moment I hold you, my heart will grow a billion sizes and the moment I see daddy holding you, my life will be complete.  

I have never loved two people more in my life. 

I listened to a Celine Dion song over and over the last few months......and this quote is so true:

And the world thought I had it all.....but I was waiting for you......

Tomorrow you change my life.....tomorrow you make me a better person.....tomorrow I become the person I always wanted to be....your mom.

I love you sweetheart!!!!

With a million kisses, 
Your Mommy

Thanksgiving day!

My OB sent me for a growth scan ultrasound to check on Sweet Pea.  When we had her weight checked at 35 weeks, she was measuring on the large size.....6lbs 15 oz. 

On Monday at my 38 week check up, he decided to send me for another one to see what we were dealing with.  Babies are expected to gain about a half a lb a week so I think we were figuring somewhere in the 8's. 

Today was that ultrasound.  The ultrasound tech said with a look of puzzlement on her face "The baby is measuring a little large". 

Here I am expecting high 8's or low 9's. 

"10 lbs 6 oz" she said

My knees almost buckled.  It seriously took my breath away. WHAT?!?!?

The dr had explained to me that there is a lb margin of error EITHER WAY.  So she could be in the 9's but she could be close to 11!!!!

I couldn't process this....I only gained 17 lbs the whole pregnancy!!!  

I called my OB's office immediately!  The nurse was SHOCKED....just like the rest of us!

I was told the dr would review the report and call me back.

After a two hour wait, the phone rang:

"Hey Jennifer, it's Dr. Hawaiian Tropics.  Oh! My! Goodness!!!!!"

"I know.....I am having a turkey apparently...not a baby"

"Well let's make tomorrow Thanksgiving then".

And just like that we had a plan and it was perfect <3


Check Please!

I am 37 and a half weeks pregnant! 

I can't believe how fast it went!  Wasn't it just yesterday that I was hitting the ignore button on my phone call from Nurse Christmas because I did NOT want to hear "You are not pregnant" again?!?!  It felt like a week ago that I sat and starred at my phone trying to get the courage to listen to the message she left.  Aren't my cheeks still wet from the tears that instantly started cascading down my face as I listened to the message, not once, but twice because I was SURE I heard her wrong?!?!

I remember everything about that day....the song I heard leaving Dr Godfather's office after having my blood work drawn...the excitement in my husband's voice when I called him at work and told him our four year nightmare was over......the reaction of each of our parents.......

...But most importantly how I INSTANTLY felt different.....instantly felt like everything in the world made sense and that my whole life led up to that moment......

Fast forward nine months.....

Here I sit on the brink of being able to hold my miracle....the one we prayed for so hard....the one we worked so hard for.

To say I am emotional is an understatement.

I already told my daughter when she first meets us I will be crying and I will probably cry for a couple weeks after that every time I look at her.  But I also told her not to worry.....these tears are purely tears of immense happiness. 

Thinking about seeing and holding her makes my heart swell up.....

With all that being said, the physical chapter of this stage of pregnancy has been torture. I am uncomfortable. 

I have the waddle down....I've definitely perfected it. 

We tried to go walk around  a store yesterday and I barely made it to the back of the store and I was near tears from the back pains.

My bladder has all but given up on me!


The past few nights I laid in bed in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, and I feel this body part sticking out of my belly.  I think it's her butt.....so I rub it!  Each and every time, she presses that little bum up against where my hand is and each and every time my eyes fill with tears. 

Although I will deeply miss that....I'm ready for her...to pick her up and cradle her in my arms and to smother that gorgeous little face with four years worth of kisses. 

I am ready to welcome our miracle into this world......