12.06.2011

Santa Spotted....Aisle 13!

You know those houses you go into where they OVERDECORATE.  Christmas stuff is EVERYWHERE and it kinda looks like Santa puked all over. 

Yea...I am that person. 

We moved into this house last year when we found out that I was finally pregnant.  I wasn't too into decorating last year as I felt like a tired cow.   I knew that this year was going to be the BIG one anyway. Sweet Pea's FIRST CHRISTMAS.  So last year, I just allowed myself to lay on the couch and eat Christmas cookies (I won't even tell you what I gained the next month!).  

This year, decorating was so exciting!  I couldn't wait to pull all of our stuff out and to deck them halls with boughs of holly.   We put up the Christmas tree and as expected my little miracle was mesmerized by the lights.  I wanted more.....

We realized we didn't have anything that would work for outside.  We needed to buy something STAT....after all I am a total self proclaimed Christmas light snob. 

We decided to check out that big store that loves to roll back those prices.  I am NOT A FAN of that store.  No disrespect to those that love it, I just simply do not.  To me, every one that I have been to smells like dog food and stale popcorn.  I much prefer that bullseye competitor. 

We decided to go early Sunday and check it out.  I was thrilled that it would be easy in and easy out because they keep their Christmas stuff in the Garden center.  You could imagine my surprise when we went and there was like NOTHING we could use left.....NOTHING.   As I shrugged my shoulders and headed towards the door to the Depot of many Homes...my husband said those words I was dreading "Lemme check something inside".


*sigh* "Ok let's be quick"

We started to walk around and there he was in all his glory.....SANTA....on aisle 13 looking at folding chairs (I guess those elves are getting upgraded from those wooden benches). 

Seriously, there was a man dressed in a full Santa costume.

We had just taken Sweet Pea a few days prior to see Santa..... every chance we get we have been all "SANTA" "SANTA" "SANTA" to get her to learn.

I was able to walk past him and not make eye contact but as I circled around, we were facing each other.  I couldn't avoid it now.   I thought of turning around and trying to escape quickly but he had already started talking to my daughter and all I could squeak was "Look its Santa"

Here was my train of thought:
"  OH MY GOD! DOES THIS MAN EVEN WORK HERE???? HOLY CRAP HE IS GETTING CLOSER.  OK PHEW HE IS JUST TALKING TO HER.  AT LEAST THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND IF I HAVE TO START SCREAMING.  OH SHIT I THINK HE IS GOING TO TOUCH HER...WHAT THE HELL DO I DO??! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU TELL SANTA TO BACK THE HELL AWAY FROM YOUR CHILD.  OMG THERE ARE OTHER KIDS AROUND...I CAN'T YELL AT HIM.  OMG HE IS TOUCHING HER HAND.  EW EW EW EW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WORK HERE" 

 With my best force of a smile, I jerked the carriage away and said "Say bye bye to Santa".  I went into the CD section and seriously almost hyperventilated when I realized I left the wipes in the car.  

After what seemed like an eternity (but was really like ten more minutes), we were back in the car where I scrubbed her hands like no other....

After a deep breath, I quickly congratulated myself for not ruining Christmas for other children by tackling Santa and making the evening news. 

Sweet Pea's hand hasn't fallen off yet so I think we are safe......

.....as far as that man....I can only continue to only hope that he worked there...

.....although you never know....He could have been one of those people of ___________.

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