Tomorrow is Mother's Day. The past few years I have tried to avoid Mother's Day like the Plague. Yet no matter how I tried to stop it...it kept coming! Everywhere I looked was "I love mom" stuff and I'm not heartless, I DO LOVE my mom....but knowing how much I wanted to be a mom myself, this holiday was hard to take.
Every year while everyone else celebrated Mother's Day....I celebrated "Un-Mother's Day". Just like every day that isn't your birthday is your "Un-Birthday"....well that day was always my "Un-Mother's Day"
I have two posts here about it (here and here)
And then my miracle happened......
Tomorrow, thanks to my beautiful daughter, I will get to celebrate my FIRST Mother's Day. Is it wrong of me to think that I deserve a parade of some sort?!?! Ya know, each Dr and Nurse could have a float and I could be like Santa at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, adorned with jewels and a tiara, being pulled by white horses in a carriage......sounds fitting no? NO?!?! Fine, I'll settle for a skywriter wishing me a Happy Mother's Day!
As I picked my daughter up this morning and smothered her with kisses, I thanked God for giving me this. Her sweet smile made my heart melt and I instantly knew in that moment why my mother made every decision she made for me. I understood every time she said No for my own good. I pictured all the grief I must have caused my mom as a teen and an image of my future with my daughter flashed through my mind. I looked at her and smothered her with more kisses, realizing that I don't want there to ever be a day where I can't do that. I wondered how my mom has restrained herself....how even at the age of thirty, she doesn't smother me with kisses.
This type of love is amazing.
I just started my life as a mom and I realized how instantly my life changed the second she was born. Things that were so important before became trivial and things I have never cared about became super important! They say motherhood is an instinct women have.....something they will just know how to do....and while that may be true...I know deep down in my heart...I had the BEST teacher and hope that one day my daughter will be sitting and looking back on her childhood with as much admiration and love as I do mine!