1.16.2011

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

About 12 1/2 years ago, I made a split decision that changed my life.  I kissed my best friend.  There we were sitting in a car talking and I just did it.  It was in that one second decision that I set the course of my life.  I began to fall madly in love with my husband....

It was the Best Decision EVER!

As many of you know, my husband and I met in high school...became best friends....and started dating after graduation (which just happened to be right before we left for college...in different states).  We decided to stick it out....after all I had already made my mind up that I was marrying him...and we dated long distance ....for a very LONG 8 years. 

I waited....sometimes patiently.....but most of the time impatiently...because as the ever clever Harry from When Harry Met Sally stated "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible".  

And then it happened....we got married.  The sun shone....the sky was blue...and our guests, well ....they almost melted (117 degrees in Arizona on the wedding!).  The day was perfect.  Our relationship was perfect.  My husband was perfect.

In analyzing my life and the choices I made, I don't regret a single step of any of it.  We had such a strong foundation from being best friends prior to dating that NO amount of time or distance could separate that bond.  At times it was rough and there were days and moments where I felt I couldn't go on....but I pushed through and saying "I do" was the sweetest victory in what was to that point, the most challenging part of my life.  We grew up as individuals and came into our own, as both a couple and adults.  At 26, we knew who we were and we knew we could tackle marriage.  

We rather quickly moved into the stage of dealing with infertility.  I once again had to deal with the pain of knowing what I wanted and wanting it so badly and just simply having to wait. 

And we waited....and we waited.....four years.  Once again, there were days when I was convinced I wouldn't survive.....that my heart couldn't handle the ache it felt for our child.  I learned to cope, sometimes barely.  The infertility tested our marriage and our relationship more than the distance did.  There were so many lows, and let me tell you, those lows are the worst.  My husband's shoulder has hours of tears tattooed to it.  Both of our hearts bear indescribable marks of pain.  Maybe in the beginning, we let it affect us.  Maybe we fought more than we should.  Maybe I was wrong to think and feel that he would never understand. 

But then something magical happened, we rose above it.  We realized that we had the same goals and we wanted the same things and the only way to defeat infertility is to take it out....together.  Our relationship has never been stronger. 

I laid in bed last night and thought about how long I wanted Sweet Pea....how long we both waited for her.  How we have both grown up so much during these four years and how our relationship has blossomed.  I thought about how lucky my daughter is to already have parents and a huge family that has dreamed about her for so long.  So many people to love her, that want to hold her, that want to give her the world. 

There was NEVER a thought about not wanting this little baby.  There was NEVER a time where we wondered if we were ready to be parents....because we have both known for some time what the answer was.  Everyone knew it.....it was one of the things I was proud to have written on our faces. 

There are still moments where I can't believe I am pregnant.....that I can't believe I am in my third trimester...that I can't believe I am getting the daughter I always dreamed about.  And I think back to that day, our wedding day, when I put my dress on and had the same disbelief about marrying my husband.  I couldn't believe I was finally marrying him.  It truly took those moments of hope and dreaming for all those years for me to realize how special that day was and how I know that I will hold it so close and so dear in my heart forever. 

The day our daughter is born will be like that day......times infinity! 

 ......Good things come to those who wait......

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