12.21.2010

What. A. Day!

What an exhausting 24 hours......

It all started last night when I just HAD to go to sleep early....however...It was one of those sleeps where you really aren't in a deep sleep.  I was tossing and turning...over...and over....and over....

I had gotten up to use the bathroom and checked my phone and had an email from a dear blog follower just checking to make sure I was ok because I hadn't posted in awhile.  Over the last few weeks, I was feeling more comfortable in my pregnancy, especially because I am able to feel little Sweet Pea's movements.  I wrote back with confidence that everything was great and that I was busy. 

Insert the heartburn from hell......I couldn't lay down without it feeling that my chest was on fire.  So I sat up....it was about 2:15 this time and I started to play on my computer.  I remembered about the eclipse and started to watch it from our sky lights.  It was amazing.  I read somewhere that it only happens once every 2000 years.  I laughed to myself because I feel the same way with pregnancy and me! 

I finally feel asleep about 3:30ish. 

I awoke this morning as my husband was getting ready to take his shower...I told him I had to pee first.  I ran into the bathroom...did my business and wiped as usual.  Now awhile ago I had written a blog post how I was a TPI agent (toilet paper inspector...click HERE to read) during our fertility treatments.  However, after the scare in August my TPI agent status remained on full alert.  I examine the paper closely EACH time I pee....yes you might think its gross and yes it is exhausting but I need it for my piece of mind!  So I examined this morning just like every other and noticed some red dots.  I took a deep breath and wiped again...this time a larger red dot.  I catapulted (that's the best word to describe it) out of the bathroom and told my husband.  I didn't reach full hysteric mode until I wiped again and saw a fair amount of pink.......

This wasn't happening....AGAIN!

I immediately grabbed the phone and called my OB.  In between sobs, I described what I saw.  She ordered me into bed as she paged the Dr (who was in the middle of delivering a C section).  I received a call back shortly after that said "The Dr would like you to head to labor and delivery at the hospital to be monitored". 

Holy waterfall of tears. 

I felt Sweet Pea moving which was an amazing blanket of sanity but I'm not gonna lie...I was scared....shitless! 

As I was getting dressed my mind started to wander and I started to panic about my hairy yeti legs. You might find this very strange....Hell, I do too...but it's what happened!  I hadn't shaved in a bit (don't even ask) and for a VERY brief second I wondered if I had time to do that.  However my vanity took a back seat to my daughter as I figured the worse they could do was point and laugh....it was a bullet I was willing to take (although I continued to be freaked out about it all the way to the hospital).

My focus on my yeti legs kept my breathing more focused and stopped the tears...so I think in a weird way I will be grateful for that.  Here's the thing.  I have always had this fear of something tragic happening and I didn't shave.  I had this conversation with my friend awhile ago who was laughing at me because she thought I was crazy the night I got up to shave at 1 in the morning because my chest felt tight (totally turned into nothing).  Sometimes I get dressed when I don't have enough time to shave the yeti off and pray I don't end up in the hospital.  This even haunts me in my dreams....it's a sick obsession....one I had realized this morning...

Anyway back to this morning....we arrived at the hospital which I had never been too.  I picked it to deliver in after some research.  THE HOSPITAL IS BEAUTIFUL.  We got through the Fort Knox security system to get into labor and delivery (ok maybe that is an overstatement....however, its difficult to get into the labor and delivery area....they were VERY picky with who they were letting in!! AND I loved it!!).  To make a very long story shorter than it already is long....everything is fine. 

The L& D Nurse and On Call Dr....AMAZING!  They put my mind to ease and the nurse even laughed at me when I happened to mention I didn't shave.  She told me "If there was EVER a place where that was ok...it's here!" 

Sweet Pea is doing wonderful....just really keeping us on our toes!!  The Dr felt that this was just a freak thing that happened...that possibly one of the capillaries burst from my cervix (which is thankfully sealed shut!).  He even did a ultrasound of the baby so we could see how well she was doing.  SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS HOSPITAL!!! 

It was today that I decided...I would rather be an over-reactor than an under-reactor.  I spent a huge portion of the beginning of my pregnancy not wanting to call the dr because I didn't want to be "that patient".  However today I realized that I would SO rather be that patient and be on top of every little thing than to have pushed my fears aside and have something go wrong.  I am a worrier...it is who I am....and today I decided it is ok to wear that proudly!  The complete confidence with pregnancy that I have so wished for over the last 25 weeks....I'm ok with not having.  It makes me more diligent...It makes me ask more questions...I'll take some slight confidence with a side of err on the side of caution any day (even thought I aged many years this morning).

I told the staff at the hospital that I do not want to see them before March...

......I hope my darling Sweet Pea was listening!!! 

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