9.09.2010

A New Two Week Wait!

As an infertile, I lived in this fantasy land.  I often dreamed about the day I would wind up pregnant and how blissful that time would be for me.  There would never be any worrying like I did when I was trying to get pregnant. No stress....just that warm pregnancy glow everyone talks about. 

I have spent plenty of time living two weeks at a time.  Two weeks leading up to that BIG O (I'm talking ovulation...get your head out of the gutter!) and two weeks after it.  The two weeks leading up to it were full of tears from the last failed cycle, medications, opk's, and lots of visits to the RE to see the blood sucking vultures and my best pal Wandy!  The two weeks after the event, were filled with ALL SORTS of emotions.  It was a vicious cycle....one that felt never ending...and then just like that...it did end. 

However, I have found that pregnancy is MORE worrying than trying to conceive.  No longer are my prayers and fears about a possible child.  I now worry about sweet pea.  Years of stories from people about things going wrong are etched into my mind. Dr. Google has gotten the best of me at times. 

I can't help it folks....I'm neurotic. 

I'm eleven full weeks today.  Fourteen days until I am out of the first trimester! Two more weeks! Another two week wait! 

I'm not saying my crazy neurotic ways will instantly be cured at that point...I'm not naive....they might get worse.  But I will at least enter my second trimester with a smile.....and a little ease!

It's been difficult without the security blanket of Dr. Godfather and Nurse Christmas.  After being monitored weekly, I was told by Dr. Hawaiian Tropics "see you in three weeks".

Saying that's a long time is an understatement.

However, I am pushing forward....My NT scan is in ten days (I can count down with my hands people!!!) 

A different kind of two week wait.  Here we go again......

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