8.02.2010

O.M.G!

I know many of you are wondering what happened with my last cycle.  I kind of left everyone hanging in the two week wait.  I had to process the information.  I had to listen to that message 1,000 times.  I had to look myself in the mirror and convince myself I wasn't dreaming.....We did it!

I'm pregnant!

I was completely expecting a negative test.  I fought with myself as to if I should go to my beta test or not.  The only thing that confused me was I had a lack of the Queen's symptoms...so I decided to go.  I waited an agonizing six hours....preparing myself for the bad news.  I equated that fear and pain to the fear of ripping off a band-aid!  You know it is gonna hurt so you just have to get the courage up to rip it off....and yes it stings for awhile...but it goes away....as I knew this negative would.

I didn't answer the phone when Nurse Christmas called.  I let it go to voicemail....frozen in fear.  My phone made the noise indicating a voicemail!  It was time to rip off the band-aid.  I wasn't surprised her voice sounded melancholy....after all how much could it suck to have to make these bad calls all day.  I took a deep breath prepared for the sob fest that was evident....

I was expecting to hear "I'm sorry you are not pregnant AGAIN"

Instead I heard "Congratulations, your beta came back at 135.  You are pregnant

There was a nice long message left...at which point I was screaming into the phone in disbelief.  I hung up and dialed it again....I couldn't have heard it right.  Tears were streaming down my face...I was sobbing...but for a different reason..

I called my husband and squeezed out the "We did it...I'm pregnant" message through my tears.  It was truly an unbelievable moment.  One I have waited my whole life for...one we have worked so hard for the past FOUR years for.  No matter what happens in the future, that will forever go down in history as one of the BEST days of my life. 

Our family is elated.  Would you believe that the last baby in my mother in law's side of the family was my husband?  Excited isn't even the word.

We went for our second beta two days later.  Came back 250.  perfect!

We waited a VERY long week for our first ultrasound.  On Sunday, we held our breaths and saw the beautiful picture of a gestational sac and yolk sac.  The baby is too small to see and the heartbeat isn't there yet but it was perfect.  Beta jumped to 2550!  Things are progressing nicely!

It's still early.  We don't go back for the heartbeat until next week.  We are cautiously optimistic.  At times, there is nothing but fear that washes over me.  I have a wonderful support system to get me through it. 

I still can't believe it. 

It doesn't feel real.

P.S.  I know that feeling of angst over reading another pregnancy blog.  Just as my blog wasn't all about infertility...it will not be all about pregnancy.  My blog is about my life as I see it...with all the crazy comedic twists I see in my head.  I hope you continue to keep reading (and laughing with me) xoxoxo!

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