Friendships: The Courtney Edition!

I'll be the first to admit it.....I thought friends had to be real life people.  People that you could hug when they needed it, call for some shopping and laugh until your sides hurt. 

Everything I thought I knew about friendship has been turned upside down in the past few months.  I lost touch with real life friends that I thought would always be there....our friendships have become mere sentences.  Could it be the infertility that is driving a wedge?  Is it me?  I've felt alone!

In joining twitter, my world opened up to a new kind of friend.  A modern day penpal.  I connected with many woman all over the country and the world that understood what I was feeling.  We bonded over what was missing in our lives and the struggles we have faced.  Infertility was the basis of these friendships but over the course of the months they have become so much more. 

How is it possible to have a close friend that  "lives" in your computer?  I didn't think it was possible.  I was so wrong.  Friendships are about the connections you make...the bonds you share....and learning to lean on someone who is willing to catch you...not the amount of time you get to spend with someone. 

There are so many interesting woman that I have "met".  I feel such strong connections with some of them.  These people have become some of my closest friends.  I adore and care for these girls as I do my "in real life" friends. 

Courtney is one of those girls.  I have never met a more courageous person in my life.  Last year, Courtney and her husband lost their twin boys, Logan and Brody when Courtney developed HELLP syndrome and delivered them at 22 weeks.  Upon reading this blog post, explaining the tragedy, I cried.  I marveled at what Courtney and her husband have been through. 

Her strength was remarkable.

I told her that every chance I got. 

Courtney got pregnant again.  Despite being nervous, she had tests done to see if she would develop HELLP again.  Tests were negative.  She anxiously held her breath until she passed the 22 week mark (just a few weeks ago) with her new little boy.  She celebrated being past that point.....stated on her blog that she finally felt like she could breathe a little easier. My heart couldn't have been happier for her!

On Monday, Courtney delivered Wyatt at 23 weeks due to an incompetent cervix.  She lost another son.  Precious Wyatt joined his big brothers Logan and Brody in Heaven.  I was shocked to my core upon reading the news.  I laid in bed and cried. 

The unfairness......the pain......the agony of losing another child....I would do anything to take that away from her.  I have never met Courtney in person....yet I grieve for her loss...I grieve for her sons.  I worry about how her and her husband will get through this (again?!?!?) and I am incredibly angry at the unfairness of it all. 

There will never be enough words to comfort her. Never enough hugs that would take the pain away.  Never an answer to all the questions she has..........

.......but I will always have words of comfort ready when she wants to hear them,

hugs ready (even if they are virtual) when she needs to feel them,

and a shoulder for her to lean on when she can't stand up on her own. 

Please say a prayer for my dear friend Courtney, her husband Jason and their three precious angel boys tonight. 

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.

-- Flavia Weedn


PCOSChick said...

I'm sitting here crying! This is sooooo very true! The bonds we have all come to have is unreal & it is very true, you have have a true friend in somebody you have never met. I too grieve for Courtney & her husband. My heart is broken for them & like you wish I could do more.

It is amazing how a community such as ours can be there for each other & try to help in ways that our IRLs most of the time are unable to.

I love this community! I love that we rally when something tragic happens & I love how we celebrate the good news. This is an amazing group of women.

Right now sadly is one of the rallying times & I can only hope that Courtney knows we are all here & want to help however we can.

Busted Kate said...

I cried my heart out too when I read Courtney's news. Shock. Total shock. How could this happen? I hope she at least knows that there are so many of us here supporting her and there for her. Especially you, with your lovely wonderful post. Thank you.

I couldn't agree more with blog friends becoming real friends. And I'm so looking forward to meeting you IRL, so I can call you both a bloggy and IRL friend! :-)

Goodyear Family said...

Ahh Darn you! I'm at work and I read and now crying. Well, trying very hard not to cry and bawl. I hadn't read Courtney's blog or twitter until everybody started posting on their blogs and twitter about her and now I just pray with all my heart that they'll make it. My heart truly aches for her and her husband and I wish I could be there with her now just to cry with her.

This community really is amazing! I never imagined that this would happen when I started blogging. Your words summed it up perfectly.

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

SO sad for your friend! I'm sitting here cryng now! I will definately keep her in my prayers.

I agree that threw these blogs I have come accross some amazing people who I consider a true friend! It's amazing that so many of us are on here going threw the same thing, and through the grace of God we have all found eachother to help keep us going no matter what we face.

liberalgranolagirl said...

I could not agree more about the friendships that I've developed on Twitter and through my blog. My heart truly broke when I read Courtney's news <3

Courtney said...

*tears* I am just at a loss of words by your kindness and the kindness of everyone in this community.

You and everyone else has been such a positive force field in my life that I do not know how I functioned without any of you.

I feel truly blessed to know that you and everyone else is here for me.

All my love