Vacation Tale #8- It's All in the Family!

Today's guest blogger is Carrie (@Caretta74)!  Enjoy!

Family Reunion Weekend Get-A-Way

Let me start off by giving you some background information…my husband’s family is nuts. How is that for background info?! LOL No seriously, they are all from the mountains in Virginia and are the quintessential rednecks. Not that being from the mountains is bad, have you, but you know all of the “You might be a redneck” jokes, well they were written for my husband’s family. Seriously!

So a few years ago the redneck family decided to have a family reunion. Now I am not sure what your definition of a family reunion is, but mine goes something like this. Everyone in the family gathers together, bbqs, enjoys catching up with everyone, there are various activities going on, people can come and go as desired, and most of all everyone really enjoys spending time together. So when I agreed to go to said reunion with my husband, I had no idea what was in store for us.

We get to my husband’s Aunt’s house, who is hosting the first night of festivities. People are rolling in right and left and I am quickly realizing that there is no way we are all going to fit in this very small house. The house is probably 1200 square feet, including a huge garage and basement (which can’t be used) and there are more antiques in this house than on HGTV! So then I realize that even though it is July and hotter than Hades outside, chairs have been set up on the deck for people to sit outside as well. So we get a drink and head to the deck. As we are sitting there, and swatting the biting flies and gnats, I see a covered truck pulling up the road. I am not sure how to adequately describe this truck but I am going to try. It is an old truck (circa 1985) with a camper shell on the back that sits about two feet higher than the cab of the front of the truck. The whole thing is rocking and rolling and looks like the shocks must have worn out, oh about 1990. So we are sitting there watching this vehicle come up the drive way and it proceeds to pull out of the driveway right into the yard. As it does, the back end is so wobbly it really looks like it is going to tip over. Once it comes to a stop, out pops the driver. Now back the redneck description. Imagine a 30-something year old guy, which reddish blonde FEATHERED hair, cut off jean shorts, white tube socks, and tennis shoes. The best part was his shirt though. He was wearing a bright kelly green Rolling Rock Beer shirt. But the look wasn’t complete without noticing what was in his hand, a big ole’ glass bottle of Rolling Rock beer. He stumbles out of the driver’s seat, just as the back end of the truck opens up. Out comes about 12 people! It looks like a clown car with people pouring out. We sat and watched this happen with our mouths hanging open in disbelief! The driver then explains that he had driven all of the way from PA to VA drinking his Rolling Rock because “By God” he gets thirsty! WHAT? Uhm okay. Not sure what is worse, him drinking and driving for 6 hours or all of the people in the back of the truck trusting him with their lives! Thank goodness they all arrived safely!!!

So after the first night of fun, we all gathered at my in-laws for the second days of festivities. Or should I call them events….or perhaps I should call it nothing but boredom! There weren’t any activities planned. We were all supposed to sit around outside in the heat and “visit”. By this point I have realized that I really am in hell and vow to my dear husband that I will never ever ever never come to another family reunion with him as long as we both shall live. Just kidding. Maybe.

We survived the day of chatting and sweating and dinner time was approaching. Well my mother-in-law in all of her wisdom had decided that since she was in charge of making the meal that night, she was going to work ahead and be prepared. So about two weeks before the reunion she had prepared giant platters of baked spaghetti and had frozen them, so all of the work would be done ahead of time. This made perfect sense and everyone thought it was a grand idea until she realized she hadn’t really taken into account the time for them to thaw!! So her master plan was deeply flawed! Someone had the brilliant idea to set the trays of spaghetti in the sun to help them defrost so this is what we did! My in-laws have a very long black top driveway….can you see where this is going?? Yep, they decided to set the trays out in the sun on the black top driveway! How is that for a redneck way to defrost spaghetti?! You can picture a long black-top driveway with six huge trays of aluminum foil covered spaghetti sitting on the ground! LOL After about two hours the spaghetti still wasn’t thawed and we all had filled up on salad and bread! By the time it was not frozen anymore and warmed through no one even wanted to eat it because we were all full on sides! What a mess it was!

After the weekend of fun family reunion events, we decided that we had both had enough “family” time and it would be a very long time before we attended another reunion! Not to mention even my in-laws who hosted the reunion weekend decided they too had had enough and wouldn’t be having another reunion anytime soon!


The Quest For Baby Hang said...

Oh wow..LOL!!!! Too funny about thawing that, LoL!!! Great post!

Joan said...

Hilarious post! I can just imagine all that spaghetti lined up in the driveway! Loved every word of this post!