Vacation Tale #2- The Jackass's Donkey

The guest blogger today is Danielle (@butifulmess) from Life Induces Thoughts, Mostly Random. 

When Dirty was in the Navy, I went to visit him one weekend. Being from a very small town, going to Catholic school, and being sheltered by my parents for years, going to California by myself was a shock in of itself. I was freshly graduated from high school and this was my first time going out of state without my parents. I was so excited to "finally" get away and go see my boyfriend out of state (!) on an airplane. It was all very exciting and new for me. Thankfully Dirty knew how naive I was and knew to keep an eye on me without my dad having to call him.

When I landed, we took a cab to his house and then hit the town, the town being San Diego. We had lunch and I got to ride The Trolley! I was so wide eyed and young. I'm pretty sure I embarrassed him a few times by pointing out certain things that he had become accustomed too, like the bums taking change out of the Trolley ticket machine when people weren't looking and the kids my age walking around with crazy hair and funky clothes. I was so out of my element and I was loving every minute of it.

I wanted to go to Tijuana, but he said he'd only take me if we went during the day, not at night. He was very adamant about going during the day because, apparently, things get a little crazy when the sun goes down over there. I had no idea, being that the only time I had ever been out of the country was when we went to Canada to see Niagara Falls. I went along with the plan because, well I really didn't have a choice, but whatever I was going to Mexico!

We crossed the border without any kind of fanfare, it was really not what I had expected. We just walked through some gates while a Mexican man just nodded at us, no checking our ID, asking our names, NOTHING. Once we crossed the border we were bombarded by little kids trying to sell us Chickletes. I went to go buy a pack, but Dirty stopped me. He said "if you buy one pack those kids will follow us around, trying to get you to buy more". I felt so bad for those kids, they looked so sad, in the end I was able to buy a pack before we left.

After walking a bit, we stopped at some "outlet" shops, but Dirty wouldn't let me buy anything. I was all excited because there was a Benetton (remember that store and their adorable ads?) store and I would get clothes for over half retail! But no, he wouldn't let me buy anything because they're all fake. "WHAT?! how can it be fake, the sign says Benetton?" Told ya I was from a small town, I had never heard of knock offs before, didn't even know someone could do THAT. I only bought the real stuff, so I just assumed it was real, but nope...WRONG..oh so wrong.

We continued walking and suddenly Dirty stopped. I looked around totally confused wondering what the hell was going on when he turned to me and told me to button up my skirt. I was wearing a long skirt that buttoned all the way down and had them undone up to my thigh. I did as he told me to do then asked why, he said "most of the guys here, especially the ones on the street selling things from their carts, will think you're trying to sell yourself if you have too much skin exposed. Or they'll just take what they want." I was thinking "Well shit, what have I gotten myself into?!" I trusted Dirty to keep me safe and we continued on to the Hard Rock Cafe. We didn't eat anything there, "not safe" I was told but we could have a drink. OOOHHH a drink! Yes I can drink LEGALLY in Mexico...wooohooo! But I couldn't eat the ice. Geeze so many rules here in good old TJ! It didn't matter though because I was STILL in Mexico and having fun with my man ;o)

As we were getting ready to walk back to the border, we decided to go by the vendors and see what they had, if anything, for me to buy to document my trip to Mexico for the first time. We stopped at a few carts, but didn't find anything. Some guy walked up to us from behind his cart and asked me "you wanna take a picture with my donkey?" I was all "OMG yes! I would LOVE to take a picture with your sweet donkey!" Dirty looks at me in a panic and whispers to me "you do NOT want to take a picture with his donkey!" " Uhh yeah I do, come on, he's just trying to make some money, give the guy a break. Plus how cool would it be to show everyone a picture of me with a donkey! That's hilarious because I've never even touched one before." He leans over to the guy and tells him to EFF off or something to that effect. I was SO upset UNTIL....Dirty tells me exactly what this guy wants me to do with his donkey. Ummm I'll tell you he might have wanted a picture but it wasn't the type of picture I had in mind. He wanted me to have sex with his donkey! A donkey show...OMG I was so shocked and appalled! I tell the guy he's a disgusting man and stomped off in a huff, totally offended. Dirty was TOTALLY cracking up, I was PISSED! Now it's one of my favorite stories to tell because of how naive I was and how appalled I was at that guy. Ahhhh how cute I once was...

Sadly that is the best vacation story I have. I have never been to Tijuana since and I don't plan on ever going. I'm not as young, but I'm still pretty naive and I could totally see myself getting into some sort of trouble.