4.04.2010

Hole Hearted


Holidays are the worst.  There is nothing like a holiday (especially one that's big with children) to make the emptiness that I feel in my heart feel bigger.  I feel like every holiday I am telling myself this is the LAST one...this will be the LAST Easter!  I can't tell you how many times I had the Last Christmas or the Last Thanksgiving.  I swore I had them last year....but obviously, someone up there has bigger plans for us.

I woke up this morning so upset.  I thought of waking up on Easter morning and running to check my basket.  I thought of all the fun things that parents got to put into their kids baskets...the easter egg hunts...dressing the kids up in cute clothes...I thought of all of it and it hurt! 

As I laid in bed this morning, fighting tears, this song popped into my head.  It was so weird because I don't think I have heard it in FOREVER! 

There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you and this hole in my heart can't be filled with the things I do....hole hearted. 



Blast from the past huh? 

It's so weird...but it fits. ( You can read the lyrics here)

 I swear I listen to all lyrics so intently that they file themselves and pop back into my head at the right time.  Sort of like I have my own personal soundtrack! 

So that's how I'm feeling today...hole hearted.  I anxiously wait for the day to feel whole hearted.

P.S.  I ate candy for breakfast!  Yes I did!  I got it out of my system...back to the Pre-Cruise Diet tomorrow!

13 comments:

Courtney said...

*hugs* I know what you mean. Holidays hit so hard.

Thinking of you

BeEncouraged said...

Glad you were able to get through the day. Enjoyed you easter dinner pic:-)

BeEncouraged said...

Glad you were able to get through the day. Enjoyed your pic of the easter dinner today:-)

The Quest For Baby Hang said...

*hugs* I know it's hard during holidays..just know we are all here for you sweetie.

SarahM said...

I completely know what you mean about the holiday's. I had a mini breakdown on Mother's Day last year. It is so hard to see everyone with their little ones celebrating the seasons. Hang in there! Your time will come <3

PCOSChick said...

Big hugs hun! I am sorry the holidays are hard..but I know the feeling. I feel like I do the same thing..tell people it is the last. Thinking of you

Katie said...

There's nothing wrong with candy for breakfast. Sometimes you just need a little bit of chocolate to get you through. :) I hope you survived the holiday.

Al said...

*hugs* holidays really do magnify what we're missing and how much time has passed.

Ashley said...

*Hugs* I know I hated all the "easter is so much fun with little kids" comments yesterday on facebook. :( But yay for candy for breakfast! :)

Just Me...C said...

Holidays are so very difficult - esp Easter with all the little kiddies dressed adorably etc. It was indeed difficult. I am glad you were able to make it through the day. Today is a new day with new hope etc. Hang in there sweetie!

Holly said...

"Hole-hearted" says it perfectly. Holidays are the hardest. I can't wait for that whole-hearted day either *hugs

Waiting Lisa said...

I thought being away from home for Easter would make it easier. It didn't. I don't think there is anything that can make holidays easier during this time.

lynne [jaygirl] said...

new follower :)

I totally undertsand your tears. I do well on most holidays...Mother's Day is the worst for me. Sending hugs...