8.28.2009

The stars are aligning....

After what has to be one of the worst weeks for me emotionally (between the HSG, The "insensitive relatives", and major money and lack of job stress), I finally feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief...The stars are starting to align......

Dr. Godfathers nurse called me yesterday (the one who is my new BFF-because we talk so much). All tests results are back....everything looks OK....His recommended plan of treatment is IUI with Clomid and Ovidrel. My heart crumbled....we didn't expect to be recommended for an IUI right away...we were planning on doing the boogie-down-at-home method first....Nurse BFF said he would allow that for ONE MONTH but then he feels that an IUI is the most effective way for us. Hubby and I discussed it...we were going to do the one month...and then probably have to wait til the new year to start the IUI's...my heart was broken...

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse yesterday, I found out my insurance wasn't going to cover my injectables (the ovidrel), add this to the fact that I seem to be pretty much unemployable as a teacher and my sister is getting married in Dec and I have to throw a shower and bachelorette party for her...I had reached my limit. My mom called yesterday to talk to me and as she was asking questions, It all just came to a head...I started sobbing....I mean full-on-sobbing-like-someone-died.....I couldn't catch my breath and I was crying so hard that I was literally going to be sick. ALL the stress of the week had reached it toll.....I just want a baby....Why is this so hard? I felt totally lost.....

I'm not the type of person to ask my parents for money...I know they struggle too and I have a sister and a brother so I just don't go there....so when my mom called me back yesterday to offer to help....I had to fight back tears again.....She told me that they both understand just how much this means to us and that they want to help in anyway they can. I have always known my parents were amazing people....but this....I have no words....there isn't enough words in the English language to truly tell them how they have raised my spirits and gave me hope...

Mom and I talked for awhile last night trying to figure out what to do....I decided the best thing to do would be to move UP my sisters shower by THREE WEEKS (yes you read that right)...This allows me to get the shower over with at the end of Sept...and do an IUI in Oct (and Nov. and Dec. if needed)....As of last night there was soo much that needed to be ironed out....but today it just all fell into place.....

  • Nurse BFF thought it was a great idea...so I will start the second pack of birth control after the first one is done so we can control my period....I have to call her back on day one of the new pack to start to schedule out my plan......

  • My sister ended up being free that weekend, which of course when you are throwing a shower for the bride..you need the bride to be there....

  • The other girl in the wedding party...my sisters best friend...was planning to come to the shower in Oct....she THANKFULLY hadn't purchased her plane tickets yet ...and the new weekend works better for her.....

  • My AWESOME friend (ComplicatedMama) who is making the AMAZING invites for me.. is working to get them done ASAP.... (BTW......check out her website at www.domeafavorcori.com! She is doing the Tiffany's invites for my sister and they seriously kick ass....She is extremely talented and very well priced...)

  • And my other amazing friend Chef Bef....who offered to make a Tiffany's style cake ....is also going to be able to make it to the shower that weekend......

I swear I feel like a ton of weight is lifted off my shoulders.......I just bought my plane ticket and am in panic mode to get everything ready in 4 weeks for her shower......

But the stars are aligning...and I'm feeling really good about it.......THANKS MOM AND DAD =)

8.25.2009

Dear You.....

Dear You....

It's funny because when I started to come around, I thought we would be friends...Was warned of the evilness that seems to surround you.....so I tread with caution. We seemed to have a lot in common....both struggling for a child.....I understood your feelings and I hoped you would understand mine. People's priorities in life are different...some people need to have a house before children and some people need to just have children! I didn't judge you for your choice but it was soon clear I was being judged for mine.

I was amongst the guilt of "please don't have a baby before me", because we were trying...because we ARE trying. I often feel that desperation with people at times...so I was able to understand it but would never make someone feel bad for pursuing their dreams....We each seemed to be "pursuing" our dreams in different ways and I knew deep down in my heart that as much as it might sting to watch you get pregnant, I would be ecstatic for you.....We would love nothing more than to have you add to our family...as we are so desperately trying to do ourselves.....

We have been trying for THREE long years.....you were never there for the agony that I have endured....You never had to hold my hand as I cried myself to sleep....You didn't share in all the negative pregnancy tests and the tears that were shed as a result...You didn't comfort me after message upon message of each pregnant friend or relative I had to deal with....So maybe I shouldn't expect you to understand...To be fair...I wasn't there for you either....but lord knows my heart knew every ache you felt.....

So I can't understand know why you are so angry that we are pursuing this full force....Why you feel the need to shut us out like we are doing something wrong?!?!? Your actions and words have just been HURTFUL....seriously??? I am mean-spirited and cold-hearted?? because I am trying to have a baby!?!?!? I can't carry this guilt anymore....I want to let it go.....however along with this guilt is the guilt of what your actions are doing to our family.....I HATE to see people I love and care about hurt, especially my husband.....Did you stop and think for ONE SECOND how this was affecting him??? How your words would further the wedge between him and someone he once referred to as "his brother" ...Maybe that was your goal all along.....my anger has turned into sadness as I fear something that will never be able to be mended.

I will pray for you tonight...I will pray that you too will get the happy ending that we are trying for...But please know this....lines have been drawn and you, my dear, are NOT my definition of family!

Love,
Me!

8.24.2009

HSG aka Holy Shit Get (me out of here)....

So today was the DREADED HSG test!! My nerves were a wreck this morning...I actually threw up and I never throw up. My mother in law was able to drive me and go with me (thank god). So my appt was at 10:30 ..after forcing some crackers down...we were on the road....

Now I chose to go to the radiologist that my doctor recommended. It turns out it was extremely close to my doctor which is perfect because I have to drop off the films from my HSG to Dr. Godfather when I am done. Dr. Godfather's office is beautiful and of course because I love beautiful things, I fit in well. I was expecting the same from the radiologist's office- who will now be referred to as DR. OUCH! When we pulled up to DR. OUCH!'s place, I was creeped out....the buildings were old...and right next to a train tracks and I am not kidding you when I tell you it looked like a campground. I expected to see picnic tables and families ....For all those who know me well, I DON'T camp...not my style....I am NOT an outdoorsy type of gal! My gut was telling me to RUN but I just thought that was the nerves so I put on my big girl panties and went in the front door.

The inside of the place seemed ok...very old...could have been decorated nicer in my opinion....it had that funny office smell to it...kinda like you smell at a dentists office....so I sat and waited and then my name was called. The nurse brought me back into a row of tiny little rooms. The rooms looked like phone booths with a slide over door....or quite possibly could have resembled jail cells....She gave me my booth and handed me this bright blue skirt to put on, told me to empty my bladder and to wait in the cell to be called. I told her how nervous I was....her response was " I can imagine"....NOT "OH HONEY IT WILL BE OK"...she said "I can imagine"....ugh!!!

So I put on my bright blue paper skirt...went into the bathroom and after looking in the mirror decided blue was not my color and went to sit in my cell...I wasn't there long when she came and got me.....she brought me into the death chambers...oops I mean examination room. The room creeped me out ....If I wasn't scared before...I was terrified now...I completely understand why my test was painful after thinking about the room....My insides were trying to run and hide!!!

DR OUCH! came in and explained the procedure...said I would have some moderate cramping but that it will be quick and ten minutes tops....I took a deep breath...laid down and said ok..I can do this......DR OUCH! explains the steps..."gonna have slight cramping"...slight cramping comes....Im thinking "ok this isnt bad"....Cramping gets slightly worse...they are trying to take pictures....I hear DR OUCH! sigh !!!! HE FRIGGEN SIGHED....no wonder my insides freaked out....They got my uterus done but not my tubes...he needs to try it again.....GREAT!!!!!!!

so here we go round two (because seriously NOTHING ever goes easy for me)...."slight cramping" ...and I feel the slight cramping and then out of nowhere I felt the pain that I was seriously DREADING from the second I found out I was gonna have to do this test....It really felt like my ovary was going to burst...I screamed out and started to cry ....The nurse keeps telling me to breathe....I hear from DR OUCH! " your tubes are spasming...I need to do each tube separately" OMG...TWO MORE TIMES.....I silently curse God for giving woman two tubes...and the pain keeps coming....the tears kept coming...I seriously lost feeling in my legs.....and after what felt like 500 hours (but really like 20 minutes) I was done!!!!!

DR OUCH! explained how the test should NOT have gone like that. He called me a trooper and was telling me that the cramping and bleeding will be worse than a normal patients because of what I had just gone through. He said everything was NORMAL (PRAISE THE LORD)...I got dressed and had to put a pad on (Was what I went through NOT ENOUGH?)....I had to wait for my films so I went into the waiting room still crying telling my mother in law that was the WORST pain I have ever been in!! The films came back and I brought them to Dr. Godfather. Haven't heard back today....

Cramping is still there ....Im looking forward to laying down.....Bleeding pretty much stopped and I am so proud of myself for finishing the test!!! So next up is my hubbys SA. I am hoping to have the results back early next week and we can come up with a plan of action for our first cycle. I am hoping that my pain quota is filled for trying to concieve and that the rest of the stuff will go smoothly =) A girl can dream can't she?!?!

8.20.2009

Let the Games Begin....

Let the games begin!

This morning I went for my very first morning monitoring appointment to have my blood work done, get an insulin resistance test, and to help my doc by participating in some research he is doing on infertility. When I say morning monitoring, they ain't kidding.....the hours are 6 to 7:30 AM!!!!! WAY TO EARLY FOR NEEDLES!!!! I was actually nervous walking into the office...part of it I'm sure was the unknown. I had never been part of the morning monitoring crew before and I wasn't quite sure where to check in and stuff (that all went very smoothly)...the other part of me was nervous because of the amount of people coming out with those little cotton balls with the tape over it that pulls off each arm hair in its way. It was 6:15 in the morning when I got there and I passed five people coming out of the office with their "badge" (the cotton balls and tape). When I got inside there, was MORE people leaving and five people waiting in front of me. I became incredibly anxious......I found myself looking at each person wondering HOW long they were doing this...HOW many cycles have they tried...HOW many times have they gotten bad news??? I don't care what anyone says....I will never feel more bonded to anyone in a random place then with the other people sitting in the waiting room at the fertility office! The term "waiting" room brings out a whole new meaning........

As I waited for my name to be called, I just took everything in....I watched the ladies behind the front desk as they took care of patients and I watched the nurses come in and call names.....As crazy as it seems, its like one large dysfunctional family! Hell...I have spoken to my doctors nurse more times in the last few weeks than I have spoken to some of my friends.....I still find it hysterical that I have to actually call her and say "Today I got my period" and its like an accomplishment......

So my FSH level came back at a 5.5...and I have no idea what that means so if anyone knows please enlighten me.....The nurse told me to start the birth control today just until all the testing is finished and then WE WILL BE READY TO START A CYCLE!! I am still INCREDIBLY nervous about my test on Monday.....I am terrified of the imagined pain I will be feeling.....A little cramping I can deal with......but if it feels like my ovaries are going to burst...I think I'll either a) pass out from the pain....or b) just die!!! This is going to be the longest-shortest 4 days ever!

Tomorrow I am preparing to attend a large family party where I am SURE we will be bombarded with " When are you having kids?" or " Are you pregnant yet?" ....Seriously, Thank god for an open bar....CHEERS!

Maybe I should just wear a shirt stating " No, I am not pregnant...Yes, we want children and No I don't want yours"

8.18.2009

What Dreams May Become...

I had a bad dream last night. I don't remember the specifics of it..I just remember having to cross this bridge with my mom. The bridge was like rubber and these huge trucks were driving across it and I was so scared. So my mom, being the amazing woman that she is, decided to show me it was OK. She walked out onto the bridge and this storm hit, the rubber bridge flew up into the air, sending my mom with it. She was holding onto the handle of the bridge for dear life and I remember screaming for her not to let go...that I loved her so much....but she couldn't hear me over the loud trucks...and just like that she was gone.....I screamed SO loud in my dream and I literally felt my heart break into a million pieces......I jumped up in bed with my heart racing and said a thousand prayers thanking god that it was just a dream. I was SO freaked out....

I couldn't go back to sleep because of this nightmare...I couldn't go back to sleep because I didn't feel safe....I looked over at my husband who was peacefully sleeping and decided it wasn't worth waking him up for, so I just tried to snuggle up next to him ....

....As I lay awake, still reeling from the real feelings in the dream, I remembered being a kid and having a bad dream...My dad used to work nights so when I had a bad dream I was able to crawl in my moms bed and she just simply held my hand and we both fell asleep holding hands....I remember almost like it was yesterday the calmness that would rush over me when she took my little hand into hers. I miss my mom......(She lives in the west...I live in the east)

.....This dream REALLY affected me....I've been thinking about it all day....Sometimes I think this growing up stuff is overrated...Is it so bad that I want to be that little girl again, when the world didn't suck as much as it does now? Last night, I just wanted to be that little girl who crawled into my mama's bed.........Today, I realize what I truly want most is to be my mother to my own child someday, to give them the safety and security and most importantly love that I was showered with. I promise to always leave a space in my bed for the when those nightmares come and will always have my hand out, ready to be held....

I love you Mom! =)

8.16.2009

She just said what?!?!?

OK so I have to share this with you all! My hubby (god bless his heart) took me to the diner this evening for my PMS craving of disco fries! ****side note*** Disco fries are french fries with gravy and mozzarella cheese....SO not what the doctor ordered but SO friggen good!.......OK so the place was slow and we happened to be sitting near our waitress and another waitress just sitting in a booth and talking. A Michael Vick story came on CNN and this is what I heard

" I don't get what the big deal is about this guy! What, because he plays football we aren't supposed to forgive him? He did his time! We all need to move on and let the guy live his life......"

OK so at this point I'm thinking ...OK ...that's her opinion....I personally think the guy is SCUM for KILLING DOGS in such a disgusting matter....but opinions are like a-holes..everyone's got them and they all stink....Then I hear this.....

"I mean, that's what he was raised to do. He doesn't know better. Those southerners do those sorts of things on a daily basis. He is just following the examples of what he has seen...It's just like THOSE Mormons, who think its OK to have many wives"

My husband and I just stared at each other and I told him this is why I blog...I couldn't BELIEVE my ears. Lady, how friggen ignorant are you?!?! I am pretty sure that ALL SOUTHERNERS don't electrocute dogs, Hang dogs, Drown dogs on a daily basis! I HEAR dog fighting is popular but really lady, aren't sports guys supposed to be ROLE MODELS?!?!? I get that dogs aren't humans but they are still living and breathing ....this coming from the SAME woman who probably has a GO GREEN sticker on the bumper of her Prius and vows to only use "NON-animal tested" makeup!!! To have such a blatant disregard for life...any life...that isn't something learned....that is just something DISGUSTING.....

.....But like I said ...that's just my opinion...and you know what they say about opinions........

But BOY did my fries taste good!!!!!



Period Watch 2009!

So I have officially finished the Provera as of Friday night...which means we now start Period Watch 2009! The nurse told me it can come anywhere between two to seven days after you stop the pill, which would be anytime this week!

Then we start the count down to the Day 6- I'm-freaking-out -and -scared-out-of-my-pants- HSG test (dye test). BTW -thank you to all the people that have contributed to my fears of this test, Like yesterday, my hubby's cousin who asked if I had it yet and when I asked her about it, she made a face like she was in pain and said "I don't remember it being THAT BAD". OH SWEET mother of Jesus!! I do not do pain well.....I am going to have nightmares for days!!

The craziest part of all this REALLY and TRULY have been my insane emotions. Who knew trying to have a baby makes a perfectly "normal" person CRAZY? I can't even begin to describe the wide spectrum of emotions I have been dealing with and over things that would normally be OK!! Ive been trying to fight my alter-ego CRAZY BITCH but she comes out sometimes.

We got all of our blood work done...all clear and we aren't carriers for anything that they tested for (which I have no idea what they tested for...but aren't carriers for that).....so now the next step is just to wait and see...I have my in-laws coming in on Wednesday....we have a HUGE family party to go to on Friday and of course I still have my papers to do for school...

isn't this the BEST week to be PMS-ING?!!?!?

8.11.2009

P is for Provera...Poisonous...Poor Husband!

Ok so these Provera pills are wreaking havoc on my body! Not only am I dealing with morning sickness-like nausea, I have also been incredibly moody and didn't even realize it until like fifteen minutes ago. I think it all started with the ten thousand mosquito bites I got from the complicated margarita party I went to. The next day the itching was driving me insane!! I have had mosquito bites before ....but this was like the end of the world! My tolerance for these gross little bites was extremely low which caused me to be VERY agitated at my poor husband who was just trying to help. Luckily for both he and I, I decided to take Benedryl and sleep most of the next day away!! I wrote it off on the mosquitoes!

Yesterday, I was OK ...I think I was in my "normal" mood, which is me being silly and liking to laugh. But this morning.....oh this morning....I was tweeting away and @WannaBeMom made a comment about Provera making her moody to which I responded that I hadn't been more moody than normal (because remember my bitch-fest from the weekend was blamed on those damn mosquitoes). No sooner did that happen...then my husband walked over to me and asked me in the nicest way possible to clean off the bathroom counter when I got a chance. I swear I turned into Medusa. How dare HE give ME chores! (side note: I was just thinking yesterday during my "normal" mood that I really needed to clean the bathroom counter off...my makeup and hair products are all over it)....and then just when I felt like I was going to BURST with anger from his UNSPEAKABLE request....he did it! He set me over the edge.....he asked what we were having for dinner?!?!?! I was already on sensory overload from the counter comment but this ...how dare he!!! I flipped (if I was a shark, he would be missing a limb)...

I realized after I yelled at him ...I AM MOODY...."normally" those comments wouldn't piss me off.... I tried to make things better ..but I think I made him mad....tried to explain about the hormones and he had some not nice words about them.

So here I was feeling bad.....and my computer mouse started to act up and I really just beat the crap out of it!!! Like full on brawl with my computer mouse......Sigh!!....I take the Provera in the evening so today will be day 6 of the Provera.....FOUR MORE DAYS OF THIS!!! You've all been warned!

8.08.2009

I Would Die For That!

I found this on another persons blog (thanks PCOSChick!) and HAD to have it on mine! Song made me instantly cry but explains everything so perfectly! LOVE IT!

8.06.2009

The Registry

Can you guess what was the most magical part of getting married for me? Being with my own true love and best friend forever? Buying a couture Maggie Sottero gown? Designing my wedding band to have diamonds AND pink sapphires? Close....it was registering! The idea of it BLEW MY MIND..... wait a minute?? I can walk into ANY store and pick out MY OWN GIFTS?!?! Genius!!!! The excitement took over and I was soon swimming in a world of Vera Wang glasses and Kate Spade China!!! Registering to me was like FREE SHOPPING!!!!

So my mind starting racing when my cousin said to me that she can't wait to see my registry when I get pregnant! The thought of it is intoxicating!! Does Neiman Marcus do baby registries? Do they make baby Kate Spade purses? I've seen baby Uggs...but how about Baby Choo's?? Oh and the diaper bag!!! I can't wait to find the diaper bag....it seems every season I locate a NEW diaper bag from a NEW designer!

Ive been noticing people's baby stuff...and taking notes (gotta have that...all the way to what were they thinking?)...I find myself saying " When I get pregnant, I need that!" all too often!! Sometimes I even sneak stuff in that I HAD to have RIGHT THAT MINUTE OR ELSE I WOULD DIE!!! (hence the overflowing hope chest). We have spent over three years wishing for the perfect baby, I've spent time coming up with the most perfect names, isn't it only right to have the most perfect things?

Now before you all jump down my throats, I would saw off my right arm with a steak knife to just have a child, whether we lived in a cardboard box or a mansion. But after three LONG years of trying and failing miserably (and by the way ...I don't fail well, it's not my color), my eagerly anticipated un-concieved child deserves the world....and everything in the world I can give them, I shall give them....even if it is just a can of peas.

I can't wait to have all the joys of pregnancy- including being able to register again...I can guarantee you this ...A girl will never have more fun with a gun!

Thursday Thoughts!

The nurse called yesterday and told me my hormone blood work came back and I am not pregnant (no kidding!) and that my hormones were low so I will not be starting a cycle on my own. I am now taking some pills to start my period....I swear to god!!!...I can't even think straight anymore...I have no idea what the pills are called and I have said them like 500 times in the last few days...anyway...I'm on the pills...and they start with a p. I have to take them for ten days.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I had a write a very difficult paper. The paper itself wasn't difficult but It was for me because my writing needs to flow together and the directions of this paper didn't ...so I made it flow together ...17 pages together! Took 11 hours of work...I wasn't happy about the finished product but I sent it in....Master's program is over in March....is it March yet?

So on top of me frantically writing my paper, I had to go get my prescriptions filled for the pills to start last night. I am walking out of the house with the husband, locking the door behind me AS I ALWAYS DO and just as the door is closing he yells "WAIT~!" For the SECOND time this year, he has left the house without KEYS!!!! LOCKED OUT AGAIN! The first time was at 5:30 in the morning...NOT FUN!!! We had a family friend bring us the key...I am glad yesterday is over.....

So I really need to start doing some research on insulin resistance diet. I thought I had a book but of course I cant find it .....I'm giving myself a couple days to adjust and work the logistics of it out....I will start the IR diet on Sunday or Monday (depending when I go food shopping). I will be in all black for sure that day mourning the loss of my white bread (sourdough and french baguette...yum) ....I apologize now for all those who will have to deal with me during these very rough times (especially my hubby)!!

8.04.2009

Our Date with the R.E.-Take two

Today was our long awaited appointment with our new RE, Dr. Godfather. I say new RE because this is my second one. We tried to go in California to one of the TOP DR'S in the field of PCOS. Our insurance was lacking, we had to pay $250 just for the consultation, the TOP DR. passed us off to someone I will lovingly refer to as Dr. SH (Shithead).

Dr. SH was all magical at first ....made us like him and then turned into the evil, evil man! I would probably equate him to Freddy Krueger, he was a real nightmare!!! Dr. SH started to push an IUI right away, before even doing ANY tests! He handed me a menu (I am NOT kidding) of the services they perform at what they would cost us. We were both overwhelmed because we KNEW that every penny would need to be taken out of our pockets and although Dr. SH seemed hesitant to let us try clomid on our own, he agreed to let us try it for a couple of months.

Graphic Information Ahead--Skip the next section if you need to.....

I get put on pills to start my period. This weird stuff happened!! I was bleeding pink jelly. I panicked at work...called to track him down and after 30 MINUTES he didn't even remember who I was. I had to keep reminding him about what we had spoken about. And in true Dr. SH manner he said " hmm...we didn't do a pregnancy test on you did we?....You were either pregnant or this is your period!" WAIT...WHAT??? Do you see why he is a SH?!!? He assures me it was probably my period...and we move on.....tells me to call him during my next period or to tell him the clomid worked....

Pick Back Up Here...
Anyway I track him down after my 56 day cycle!!! And he once again forgot who I was ...explained EVERYTHING all over again and he says he wants to see me in his office. He is no longer giving us clomid (even though we agreed he would) without having 3-4 ultrasounds with it! The ultrasounds and office visits are both $250 each!!! ...We parted ways....He was such a SH!!

Ok ...so you can see how apprehensive I was to meet Dr. Godfather today. We got to the office 45 minutes early..sat outside in our car for 20 minutes...I was SOOO nervous I wanted to throw up!! We got inside and waited. We were definitely the youngest couple sitting in the waiting room (which felt good) but hubby said " are we a little too young to do doing this?". Then it was our turn to meet Dr. Godfather.

The apprehension was gone in the first minute!!! We sit down and he says " I just need to start by going off topic and telling you what beautiful handwriting you have!" OK! Who told this doctor the best way to win me over is with compliments?? I instantly loved him!!! We started to chat!! This guy knows his stuff!! He said he wants to start with just clomid and if we choose to do an IUI will be completely up to us! He's not going to rush things! He wants to get me ovulating first and is convinced that the ovulating will be enough because of our young age. I love hearing that...it is nice to be pushing thirty and feel young for something! I of course don't believe that!!! I would love if that worked...but I think we will need more....

Then the disillusionment faded when he said three UGLY words...I swear I wanted to wash his mouth out with soap....low carb diet!!! AAAAGGGHHHH! He feels that a low carb diet and 20 minutes of non-stop movement a day is going to help me BIG time!! GREAT!!! thanks DOC!

It's OK I knew it was coming, I still love him =). So then its time to go to the examination room where he uses my insides to entertain the other four people in the room (with infertility you need to be shameless). Everything looks good...my ovaries (as expected) look like those bumble balls (wiki it if needed) and now on to meet with the nurse.

She threw a lot of information at us. We both needed blood work, he needs a sperm analysis, I need an insulin resistance test, HSG, and a variety of other things. The ball is rolling...we started blood work today. She is testing for pregnancy so we can start me tomorrow on pills to start my period. She will call me tomorrow to let me know to start them and then I have to call her on day 1 and all the testing will begin.

We then met with financial services. We thought we had some type of IVF coverage, we don't! But we do have good coverage for other things so we will just need to get pregnant using those. IVF is NOT a $10,000 option for us....ten thousand dollars...can you BELIEVE that?!!??

I feel good about all this. Dr. Godfather's optimism is refreshing. We both decided we trust his judgement so we will see where this road takes us. Of course, the second we left, I already started to imagine the nursery in my head...What?!? Rome wasn't built in a day!