12.09.2009

The Name Steal

I really don't think there is anything worse for someone struggling to get pregnant than to have their beloved child names stolen by some fertile who can't make up their own mind! I have wanted to have kids since I was probably like 5. I have had my names picked out for my kids for a VERY long time .....MANY MANY MANY years. It's not my fault I can't have a baby....If I was fertile, this wouldn't be an issue. Let's just say infertiles have lots and lots of time to decide on names and it is VERY important to them.

My boys names have been set in stone for about 15 years! I will not change them...no matter what...but it's OK to have boys with the same names in a family....girls...not so much. I have had my heart set on this one girl name....I fell in LOVE with it about 8 years ago and have wanted it ever since! Since then, person after person has named their child my beloved name! It has become one of the most popular names in the country and my hubby no longer wants to use it. And he is right! Growing up a Jennifer, I was NEVER the only Jennifer in my class so I always had to be called Jennifer G! Not fun....and I just don't want to do that to my child....We have moved onto other options....but my heart still hurts for that name!

One of my biggest fears when someone becomes pregnant is the name steal. You know, you had a conversation prior to them getting pregnant, when you thought the coast was clear, and they they reveal they are pregnant....the sweats start...the panic...will they? won't they? It's an awful feeling! I can't tell the sigh of relief given when another name is chosen or the daggers I feel if that line is crossed. My sister had it happen to her....and she is fertile...by one of her best friends....TACKY TACKY TACKY!

So to follow the advice from hubby...I will be lying each and every time someone asks me what names we are thinking about.....I will pick the most hideous names I can think of.....and I can't wait til the day when one of those fertiles steals it =)

13 comments:

liberalgranolagirl said...

We had our very unusual girl name stolen but they don't even know that they stole it. Thankfully they live very far away and I only know the mother through social networking sites. We have only told a handful of people our names b/c of the very reason you're blogging about. It sucks and I agree with telling them hideous names :-)

Waiting Lisa said...

Now I want to know what your names are, hehe.

I was like you and always wanted to have a baby and always had names picked out. I remember writing a list when I was only in middle school and keeping it in a drawer in my bedroom for when I needed it. When I was real little I always pretended I had lots of babies and loved naming all the dolls. My friends would play house with one baby and I would have like ten. :)

Life and ramblings of a small town girl! said...

I too kind of want to know the names-you've sparked my curiosity. I recently just posted what our ideal names are. No one knows I blog IRL, so I'm not worried about them stealing them, but have it heard it happen over and over again. I think in general name them what you want and know they will be unique in their own way. Or come up with a unique spelling. I know easier said than done!! ;)

S said...

You have highlighted the reason why my husband and I no longer tell ANYONE our name ideas. The last boy's name that he mentioned to a coworker ended up being given to her bulldog puppy! Even more insulting than her child, IMO.

Believe it or not, I have a coworker whose brother gave his son the exact same name as hers (first & middle, though different surnames). . . even though his son was born a year later. How rude is that?!

PCOSChick said...

Growing up with a unique name, I wanted to do something like that for my child. I had this one name that would work for a boy or a girl-in swoops my friend & bam...her little boy is named MY name!

You are right, it is tacky & totally because they cannot make up their mind! I feel for you & I am sorry your beautiful name has been taken :(

But I do love your hideous name idea! I hear Hilda is a good one ;-) & Igor for a boy!! LOL

Ashley said...

I just don't tell people the names we are thinking of. I hate worrying about people stealing my names. It's so rude when they do that!

junebug said...

Amen! I had a cousin use a name I told her about and use it for her daughter. I'm still not over it yet and it was 10 years ago. I will never trust her again and she didn't even apologize.
Since then I never ever tell the names I like especially to any of my fertile friends. Although I like your idea and I think I will have to find some fun names to share.

Dea.nna said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this issue. Sometimes I feel like I'm not entitled to have feelings like this since I'm not even pregnant.

We no longer talk about the names we like for two reasons. 1) People disagree with us and eventually we change our minds even though we loved the name. And 2) at T.giving my SIL brought her dogs to my in-laws and they were named after two of our top-contending girl's names. She named her DOGS our girl names..BOTH of them!!! I nearly cried.

Pregnant Yuppy said...

We haven't shared any of our name ideas with anyone. Partially because we have a few in mind and none are written in stone. We'll know which one is the right one when we finally meet our baby.

Celia said...

The best advice I ever got was to never tell your family the name you have chosen. And we haven't told. My friends know, it went on my blog, my co-workers all know. But not the fam. Nope. I tell them any name that pops into my head.

☆ Loren ☆ said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I know exactly what you mean about the name steal. The hubs and I have adored the name Ella for years, long before it ever became popular... now i feel like its everywhere!

Chasing a Miracle said...

I think it is funny, cause i have the same fear, except it is even funnier because the name i have my heart set on is your name... I want a girl simply so that i can name her in my mothers honor, i have never shared that before! My mothers name was dutch, Yanny - people called her Jenny, so i want to name my baby girl Jennifer... Funny... but true.. When my sister fell pregnant (again) before me she told me she had a really meaningful name picked, my heart instantly sank, as i though she may have had the same idea... in the end it was ok, she had picked something more sentimental to her.. but i know the feeling, for one split second i thought my whole world was going to fall apart...
I know this doesnt help you but, its a story, and i really wanted to share it with you :o)
xoxox

Jen @ After The Alter said...

Ooo I want to know the names! I am a Jennifer too and never hated having a popular name...honestly I am going to name my kid what I want regardless of who named their kid that. Other than family you have no idea who will be in your life down the line..it would stink to look back and realize you made a decision because of someone who is no longer in your life...