Have A Broken Heart...Get A Nephew!

I always thought I would have kids first. I'm three years older than my sister so I just automatically assumed I would get married first, and have kids first....but things turned out differently. The day my sister walked into my room and told me she needed to talk to me, I knew what was coming .....I said "OMG You're Pregnant" and she started to cry. I was so excited but my heart had broke into a million pieces. I wasn't even married yet (even though we had been dating for 6 and a half years at that point) but I knew the struggles we would face. I put on a brave face, even though I think I cried myself to sleep for days! The pain eventually subsided and all I was left with was something truly wonderful!

The day my sister went to find out what she was having, I was lucky enough to be there. I put one pink sock on and one blue sock on and when the ultrasound tech did her thing....there he was! He was all sorts of perfect ....so tiny in her belly! My sister and I share the same shopping genes so we immediately went to register. That day was one of the happiest of my life!

I remember sitting with my sister in our parents living room one day and we were talking about names and I said "What about Tyler?" Tyler at that time had been a little boy in my second grade class who was just the most lovable child, but whose situation at home had been difficult. I always used to say if I could ever take a child home...It would be him.....He had made a place in my heart as I knew my little nephew would....My sister chose that name!

I used to talk to my sisters belly....He was due in September and I knew I was going away the first weekend. I wanted to be in that delivery room with her so I spoke to my sisters belly and told Ty that he had to stay in there until I got home on Monday.....Her water broke 6 hours after I landed.....It was the beginning of our special bond!

From the moment he came out....It was pure love! THE MOST love I have ever felt for ANYONE in my whole life (except my husband ..but that's different). I was an aunt! I was his Aunt Jenn ....I couldn't have thanked my sister more for bringing him into my life! As the months flew by and he began to grow, I was planning my wedding.....I knew I would be moving before his first birthday and it broke my heart.

Being away from him for so long at a time has been difficult. He changes so much each time I see him! I may be biased...but he really is the most adorable child that ever walked the earth (well until my kids are born). He completely LOVES my husband! Everything is all about Uncle Frank.....Ty's new obsession is Star Wars, which my hubby had bonded with him over....Now every time he talks to him...its all about Jedi and light sabers. Of course, he NEVER wants to talk to me on the phone...only Uncle Frank!

My sister is getting married in less than two weeks and I am so excited for her! And the best part is that my nephew will get to spend 5 days with us while my sister and new brother in law go on their honeymoon! I have been looking forward to it sooo much especially with the holidays here!!!

After receiving my bad news on Thursday, I cried for what seemed like forever.....I stopped at some point yesterday afternoon...and decided to call my mom....Imagine my surprise when I heard this little voice pick up the phone and say "Hi!" He was checking out the situation for Christmas! He asked me if we had a chimney. I told him we had a chimney and a fire place and that we also had Christmas tree set up. Then he said " No fire when Santa comes, we don't want to burn him". I said of course not! I told him we were going to make cookies for Santa, and watch Christmas shows, and look at Christmas lights! And then he said the most wonderful thing to me "I can't wait to come to your house Aunt Jenn!". All those pieces of my heart that were broken finally felt like they started beating again! I swear I felt some of my heart stitch up at that very moment!

Hubby and I decided to skip our IUI this month. It would have been at the time of my sisters wedding and when my nephew would have been here! We don't want anything taking away from this special time that we have to spend with him! I'd rather focus on seeing Christmas through my nephews eyes this year than spending it in the doctors office with all the other poor schmoes who have the same issues as I do!

So that's it folks....If you have a broken heart.....get a nephew! And no, you can't have my nephew! Get your own!


PCOSChick said...

Love it! Cannot wait to hear about your Christmas adventures with Tyler :)

Jennifer said...

just stumbled on your blog because of the title of this post. My husband and I have been TTC for a while now, and his 19 year old brother's girlfriend ended up getting pregnant before us. I was just like you thinking that we would have the first grandchild but nope! I struggled with the fact that they were going to have a child, but now that she is 10 days away from her due date, I can't wait to have a nephew! I know he will fill a part of that hole in my heart. I completely agree.... I already love my nephew and i haven't even met him yet! I loved your blog, and it was just what i needed to read right now :)

Beautiful Mess said...

Awww Jenn this post gave me the chills! Your nephew sounds amazing! I'm so glad you have each other. Enjoy every minute wit him! let that little boy laughter heal your soul.

Nahl said...

Hahah...i have a little cousin who mends my broken heart just fine.