I want to start by saying that I might go to hell for this letter but I need to say what I am feeling. I don't get it God! Hubby and I have been trying to conceive for over THREE YEARS and nothing....NOTHING! We are both good people....we met in Catholic school for heavens sake ( Am I allowed to say that?). We stay out of trouble....we are both educated and we love each other very much ....but I guess that isn't enough....
PLEASE tell me what it takes.....I don't know how much longer I can deal with this emptiness and pain.....People are so fast to throw comfort words at me that involve you....telling me how you have a plan and that you wouldn't give me anything that I couldn't handle. I'm here to tell you its too much.....I have never in my life felt emptier than I do right now...
My father in law said to me a few weeks ago that we pray when we need you but that you answer in your own time...and I am trying so hard to comprehend that and to let it comfort me ...but it doesn't. I feel forgotten about and lonely....I have prayed on so many nights ...I've pleaded with you so many times and now I sit here questioning my faith.
Why is this so hard? Why are you making this so hard on us? Just tell me what I need to do for this to work! Tell me how to make this ache in my heart stop! I need to believe your real...I need to feel your presence...I need something.....Did I already cash my chips in when I pleaded with you to save my aunt? You did it! She was hours, moments even, away from dying and you saved her....now....I'm asking you to please save me!
If you need to talk to me, I'll be the one crying myself to sleep...with whatever faith I have left.
Posted by Amaprincess at 11:09 PM