So lately some really freaky things have been happening....I hear babies....It automatically makes me think of the whole "I see dead people" thing...it sounds weird....trust me I know. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a car with my father in law and my step-mom in law and I was driving and I swear I heard a baby laugh. I turned to them and said OMG did you hear that ...and neither of them have heard anything. It was so weird.

Then just this morning, I jumped up to the sound of an newborn crying. I expected to hear it outside and nothing....so I can only imagine that it was in my dreams...why must my subconscious be so cruel too?

So on twitter a question was asked from conceive about our favorite part of ttc? I know mostly everyone would expect to say the sex! Don't get me wrong...that's yummy...but my favorite part is the two weeks of hopefulness. The two weeks where you "could" be....I LOVE those weeks!!! I also love the what if conversations that my husband and I have when we are laying in bed. Neither of us have a child so we don't know what it is going to be like....so we talk about scenarios and I couldn't love him more during those moments....We had a great one last night:

Me: " Wow it's gonna suck when we have a baby because I love sleeping and its going to be very interrupted." (all the things to keep trying to convince myself that maybe my heart wont stop beating if I dont have a child like right now!!! )

Him: " Yea that will suck"

Me: "I'm gonna be such a bitch"

Him: " So no different than you are normally" j0king around!

Me: " So much worse"

Him: " I got it all figured out. I'll just stay up all night and play video games so I can take care of him"

Me: " that's a great idea! you can take care of HER"

Him " you mean him"

Me: " no...I mean her...I will hear you explaining the ins and outs of the video game to our newborn won't I?"

Him: "Yep!"

Does everyone see why I love him so much?!?!?! We have so many of those short little what if conversations ...It really is one of the things that help me get through the day!

One of the other things that gets me through the day is my hope chest! I had to take a job in a children's clothing store when we lived in San Diego...It was brutal being around all the babies and pregnant woman ....so someone gave me the idea to start a hope chest. It started small....I would pick up things I HAVE to have here and there (yes I have a shopping problem....there is no denying it) and it grew. My hubby took me out to buy a wicker chest (with pink on it of course) and it is full to the brim. I felt weird explaining it to our families but they have been so wonderful...I know they feel the same pains that we feel and they sometimes even add to our chest. Right now it is buried in my closet...but on those really difficult days ...I pull it out and look at and lay out all the wonderful stuff I have...It helps me cope!

Our reproductive endocrinologist appt is in 18 days!!!! Please let everything work out this time!!! I had a somewhat normal period last month so around now would be the time I should be ovulating......I never even thought of doing those OPK's this time around ....of course we are on top of it just in case....


Complicated Mama said...

this post gave me chills...

you guys are just the cutest couple ever... and i think i may be becoming more excited fo you guys to become parents than anyone else in the whole world.

Seriously, Im already envisioning the babyshower--- im gonna be such a pain in the ass to Melissa lol... shes going to love me anyway.