5.10.2009

Happy Un-Mother's Day To Me!

Mother's Day for women struggling to have a baby has to be the WORST day of the year!!! Yes, we all have wonderful women in our lives that really deserve to be celebrated.....I'm not taking the day away from you women.....But is it too much to ask to have a "Wanna be a mommy but god won't let me" day!?!?!?

I've been much better this year then I was the past few years....probably because I have the support of such AMAZING friends...but it still hurts! The whole hustle and bustle of reminders in everyday life is enough but once May rolls around (and my gloomy birthday is right away the corner), the reminders are more frequent and each one feels like a band-aid being pulled off......

........."Happy Mother's Day" from the woman at Kohls.....OUCH! I find myself wanting to explain to her all of my issues...but a simple growl with "you too" comes out....

..........The in your face MOM decorations, t shirts, plates, mugs, balloons, socks, ETC.....Each time I see it ...OUCH and the grinch in me wants to pull out a black sharpie and write NOT A above mom (my self restraints amaze me sometimes).....

......CARD SHOPPING.....As I am looking to get cards in the store for all the fabulous child-bearing ladies in my life, I come across a section from Husband to Wife and I am immediately holding back tears. It brings me back to each time my very supportive husband has looked at me and said with hope and love and sadness in his eyes " I want one" OUCH! That one hurt like a bitch!!!

......... THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE......being in the presence of a certain someone and telling this certain someone that her baby is BEAUTIFUL and so well behaved and she responds with " I know I am so glad...I didn't even want children anyway" .....OUCH!


Today I will celebrate my un-mother's day by going shopping and spending the day with my fantastic husband (who has held me when I have cried for countless hours about other people's pregnancies)!! I will get through today...just as I have in the years past and tomorrow will once again be just another day.

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