11.25.2008

Our Prayer

I read this prayer off a website and feel like I could have written it....

Creator of us all, only you know how much we want children. Please, please bless us with a child; a child to lavish our love on and care for in so many ways. It is our dream and I pray to you with an aching heart.

I assumed that when we were ready for babies, we would have them. How could it be that month after month I feel so sharply the pain and disappointment of that "failure." The Bible does not comfort with words like "barren" to describe that ancient disgrace.

I am happy for our friends who call us with the joyous news of their expectations, but it is like another pain in my heart. I want to be there to celebrate with them but my battered emotions are numb to the joy of another baby shower, another baby gift.

We (would) adopt, but we are not ready yet. Heal us, loving God, from the sense that if we adopt, we are somehow "abandoning" our child -- the child we have not had but long for so deeply.

Give us the patience to support each other in our sorrow and may this pain bring us together in the grace of our marriage. Bless us with ability to see more clearly where you are calling us to serve in this time in our life, when our sorrow sometimes outweighs our generosity and our self-focus lets us forget others. Be with us, heal us and let us feel your love blessing this marriage.

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